A Guest Column from Cuzzin Bubba-Boy

Cuzzin Rod-Boy wuz a mite bizzy lass week, so he ast me to rite hiz noospaper collum fer him, wich, naccherally, I'z mor than delited to oblije with.

He sed i cud rite abowt ennytheng I wonted to.

So i thowt i'd jest rite abowt regalur, ole everday, dull stuff, like he duz

Yue no, plane old dull stuff like, watt he had to eet fer brekfass… ar like thangs he useter do wen he wuz a yungun…. ar like stuff he rememburs frum wenn he wuz in skool.

Reel dull stuff, like dat

Uf corse, I culdnt rite much abowt skoolin, sense I ditten do enny acktual skoolin… butt thin, Cuzzin Rod Boy ditten do a hole hekkuva lot uv it, neether.

I reckon I cud rite abowt rasslin gotes, wich iz sumthin I’me pretty gud at… but dat wud be way to xsiten to be in Cuzzin Rod-Boy’s noospaper.

Naw, I probly auwt to jus keep it az dull az possibul, lke he duz.

I cud rite abowt Grown Hogg Day, sense its rat’cheer in Febrewerry. Trubble iz, I dawnt no verry much abowt Grown Hoggz. Da onliest Grown Hogg I no ennytheng abowt at awl iz sawsige. But I dawnt no nuthin abowt no uther kine uv Grown Hogg.

Uf corse, dat mite be okae, to, cawse I’m pretty sur Cuzzin Rob-Boy dawnt no a thang abowt mose uv da stuff he rites abowt.

An anuther thang: Hav yew evur notised how he jess goze on an on an on abowt thangs, jumpin arouwn frum paje to paje. Sumtime, I need to take a lil nap bfour I can finnish reedin his hole collum. He rites like dere aint no tomorror. Like I aint got nutthin bedder to do dan reed a hole dangd buk evree dangd weke.

He nedes to larn wenn itz time to kwit.

Mebbe I can teech him sumthin by settin a gud xsample.

So, dis iz Cuzzin Bubba-Boy sayin, “By, yawl!”