Friday, February 27, 2009

A few good words

You may know that I have “invented” a few words in the past. They are good words. I am hopeful that my words eventually become part of the lexicon… and possibly even find their way into Webster’s and Thorndike-Barnhart.

Inventing new words is not something to be taken lightly. You really don’t want to be running around willy-nilly coming up with new words. The English language is cluttered enough as it is.

But, occasionally, there is a need for a new word, because there’s something new that you need to say. “Website”, “software”, and “Internet” are all words which we didn’t need 30 years ago, but now we do!

Recognizing the need, I invented my first two words some years back. The words were: “ar” and “teafill”.

“Ar” means the same as “and/or”. You see that phrase a lot, so I thought there ought to be a word which means “and/or”. I chose the word “ar”. It has not yet been included in Webster’s Dictionary, but I’m holding out hope.

“Teafill” is my word which means “tea refill”, a phrase that I seem to use a lot. It’s a good word. Webster’s should definitely pick up on this one.

I should point out that neither of these words have yet been widely accepted, but I am confident that, someday, they will. (And I intend to keep mentioning them at least once a year in this column until they catch on.)

If I had to choose one of my words to be included in Webster’s, I’d pick “ar”, because it would be a very helpful word when playing Scrabble

Last year, I invented my third word. The word is “crookwards”. I invented it while hanging some framed documents on the wall. I know what it means, but I still haven’t written an exact definition.

Today, I want to introduce four brand new words I have invented, again because I see the need:

The first word is “yappity”. It’s an adjective, and it’s literal definition, I have decided is “talking in a non-stop manner, similar to a puppy barking”. Believe it or not, this word was inspired by a female.

The next new word is “rainshine”. It’s the reflection of lights against the wet pavement. I thought of that word while I was driving, if you can believe it!

The third word is “flurb”. It’s a much needed word here in the South where we have heat and humidity. “Flurbing” is the condition of two rubbery or fleshlike items “grabbing” when they rub together. For instance, if you’re wearing Bermuda shorts in the summertime and your bare leg seems to stick to a vinyl restaurant booth or car seat. Then, my friend, you have “flurbed”.

My final new word is a word we don’t technically need yet, but I’m pretty sure we’re GOING to need it if our Governor, Mark Sanford, continues running for President. The word is “laster”, and the news media is going to need it when they try to explain to the nation exactly what kind of a governor Sanford has been:

“As Governor, Mark Sanford succeeded in taking a state which was last in almost everything and making it laster!”

As you can see, these are some really good words. They should all become part of our language.

Okay, gotta go now. I hear a yappity visitor outside my office, but I’m flurbed to my chair.

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