Thursday, February 26, 2009

February: The Little Month That Could!!

I’m a big fan of February.

Not that I play favorites with the months. I don’t. I like ‘em all. And I would probably be considered a little “odd” or “unusual” or “a total whack-job” if it was ever discovered that I had the names of all twelve months typed neatly into a password-protected excel spreadsheet on my laptop computer, each one ranked in order based on various criteria, including number of days, average temperature, special occasions, and derivation of name.

I do not have such a list, probably because (a) I strive for total conformity and acceptance; (b) I never thought of it until now; and (c) I can’t password-protect anything, because, invariably, if I try, I forget the password.

But back to February… which I like to think of as “The Little Month That Could”.

Last weekend, halfway through the month, I thought to myself: “Whew! I need to stop and get some rest!!!”

How much can they pack into one short, little month?

It started with probably the biggest event of the year, other than Christmas, an American Institution: Super Bowl!!!

By the time we fully recover from Super Bowl weekend -- probably haven’t yet even memorized all of the new Million Dollar super Bowl Ads -- it’s Valentine’s Day, which this year was part of the Presidents Day three-day weekend!

And while we’re still packing away our bright red Valentine’s Day belt and socks, along comes Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday. You don’t have to be in New Orleans to hand out beads, y’know!

Right in the middle of all that fun and frivolity come the Grammys and the Oscars… the only two awards show that matter even a little bit.

And, of course, during the entire month, the flow of tax refund checks has started, so lotsa folks start having a little jing-a-ling in their pockets. Shopping!!!
From Shopping to Sports, from Partying to Presidents… February’s got it all!
You like sports? How’s this: Start with the biggest sporting event of the year, the Super Bowl. Kick off NASCAR with the Daytona 500. College hoops in full swing. And even start the training camps for Major League Baseball. Now THAT’s a busy month for a sports fan…. and all in 28 short days!!!

For the superstitious, we had a Ground Hog Day AND a Friday the 13th!

So many great Presidents were born in February (2) that we were forced to roll them into ONE holiday. Otherwise, we’d be celebrating one every other week!!!

Did I mention “Random Acts of Kindness” Week?

And, just for extra thrills, not once, not twice, but three times during the month so far, the weatherman has officially mentioned “a chance of snow”.

And as if that’s not enough, this year, we had the BIGGEST EVENT of them all – possibly the biggest event since Y2K: February 17th, the switch from analog to digital that we’ve been hearing about for two years!!!! Woooo, woooo!!! Let’s party!!!!

I hope YOU enjoy February as much as I do. I think it’s a great way to get over that month-long Holiday Hangover we refer to as “January”.


Moving on, you may recall from last week that I’m a Big-Fat-Giant Hippo-Pig-Whale, and it was time to kick off our Annual Fifteen Fat Guys Weight Loss Contest.

Well, we kicked it off last week, except that instead of 15, we had 12, one of which is not a guy at all, but a gal. Just in case you’re hankering to keep score – and to put adequate public pressure on all of us – here are the initial weigh-in scores for each of us, taken directly from a non-password-protected excel spreadsheet on my laptop computer listing various criteria, ranked in order based on first listed to last listed:

Reigning Champion Don Gawrys -- 374.2; Three-time champion Kirk Luther -- 247.0; Bruce Holland -- 229.6; Tom Beottger -- 267.8; Terry Campbell -- 235.4; Norman Agnew -- 285.2; Jim Miles -- 241.0; Doug Adam -- 277.2; Denis Vaucher -- 228.2; Jimmy Carroll -- 228.2; and, yours truly, Rod-Boy Shealy -- a massive, whopping, huge-enormous, earth-orbit-altering 248.6 lbs.

I’ll keep you posted with our weigh loss progress in the weeks ahead between now and the final weigh-in in April.

In the meantime, my advice to you is this: If you run into any of these people on the street, stay as far away from them a possible. They’re hungry. They’re grouchy. And they may try to take a bite out of your arm.

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