Monday, November 3, 2008

Time for a Change

As I sit down at my keyboard to write this, I still don’t know who has won the election. There’s still a day-and-a-half until it’s all over.

By the time you read this, however, the contest will already have been decided, history will have been made – one way or the other – and you will know the identity of the next leader of the free world.

Unless, of course, Obama happened to have won the states of California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, Wisconsin, and the District of Columbia, and McCain coincidentally prevailed in the states of Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wyoming, and both of the Carolinas– in which case, we have a tie on our hands, 269 to 269, and we won’t know for sure until the U.S. House of Representatives breaks the tie.

But I’m going out on a limb and predicting that didn’t happen. I’m guessing we have chosen a new president, and things are going to change.

Note: As a consolation prize, the loser still gets to be in the United States Senate.

The Presidential election isn’t the only Big Change to come along recently. This weekend was also time for a visit from my old pal: Daylight Savings Time (DST) – The World’s Longest Running April Fools Gag!

I heard something interesting about Daylight Savings Time recently. Did you know that the Sunday after we “fall-back” and get an extra hour of sleep each year holds the record as the day with the fewest heart attacks? Apparently, Ms. Carter wasn’t kidding in my third grade health class when she told us it’s good for us to get enough sleep each night. “Fall Back” Sunday is the one day that most of us get extra sleep, and, as a result, we’re healthier that day!

Here’s another observation I made about DST this weekend: An increasing number of gadgets change the time for you! My cell phone and my computer automatically adjusted the time overnight, so that when I woke up, I was more confused than ever.

The alarm clock said 9am, but the computer said 8! The watch said 9, but the phone said 8. The wall clock said 9, but the Weather Channel said 8.

It was confusing. (And I really felt sorry for those folks who may have spent Saturday evening imbibing after the ball game.)

There’s another big change that’s needs to happen soon: I’ve got to seriously lose some poundage. I really hafta drop a few lbs. (Can anyone tell me how “lb.” can be the abbreviation for “pound”?) Pounds, lbs… whatever… I’ve got WAYYYY too many of them these days.

The last time I tried dieting, back in July, I got distracted in the middle of my weight loss competition, and ended up not losing much at all. Now I’m a big fat giant hippo-pig-whale again, and that’s definitely got to change!

Coincidentally, the winner of that Summertime Weight Loss Challenge – Big Don Gawrys – seems to still be keeping the 40 pounds he lost off, and is apparently ready to go for another round. He issued a challenge last week to our gang of 17 – suggesting another weight loss competition, this time right smack dab through the middle of the Holiday Season! Wow! He’s gutsy… and so are the other sixteen of us, but not in a good way.

Anywho, it appears that about half of the guys have accepted the challenge, so I guess “The Largest Loser Holiday Edition” will be cranking up soon. As always, we’re issuing an open invitation for anyone who would like to participate. In the past, we’ve each kicked in $100 smackeroos, with the winner taking it all after a six or eight week contest period. Since we’re just pulling it together, I can’t say for sure when we’ll start… but I would guess it will be in a couple more weeks.

So, if you think you might want to be a part of this contest – and apparently make the rules for us, since we’re all to fat and lazy to do it ourselves – shoot me an email via your Electronic Internet Email Machine, to:

One last change I want to suggest: It’s time to change your socks! You know who you are… Don’t make me call you out! Just go change them. NOW!

That’s all for this time. See you next week… unless I change my mind.

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