by Rod Shealy, Sr.
Publisher
This is the week that our economy is supposed to start turning around.
Just in the nick of time, because I’m pretty sure I’m getting ready to start paying $4.00 a gallon for gas in the not-too-distant future, since I have to pump Premium when I fill up the Bat-Mobile. And, of course, when the price of gas goes sky-high, so does the price of everything else.
But this week, things will start getting better, because the first of the Federal Government’s Economic Stimulus checks will be arriving, with more coming every week for the next few months.
Lots of extra dough will be available for the spending. So… I want to take this opportunity to remind you again to help stimulate our LOCAL economy. (Consider this column a Public Service Announcement. I’m admitting my bias here, because I’m openly pulling for our local economy!)
A couple of months ago after we got the news about the economic stimulus package, I first suggested using your check to boost our own backyard by remembering the hundreds of smaller, local retailers and service-providers who are the backbone of our community. Actually, I found myself “sermonizing” a bit.
Well, this week, it’s time to re-hash that sermon, because the checks are here!
As I now understand it, many families will receive $600 or more, depending on the number of kids and other factors. It’s designed to pull America out of the “slow-down” which our economy has suffered. The government is giving you back your own money so you can spend it, and by spending it on your choice of goods or services, you are providing jobs and income for other Americans. That’s the way the economy works, except the part about the government giving you back your own money, which I won’t get into right now.
“Support those local businesses that support our community” is a theme I’ve harped on for years, and now, with the extra cash coming soon, I’m at it again.
When I pulled out my calculator to try to figure how much money would be coming back, I estimated that approximately $50 million of this money will be coming back to taxpayers in our small community… right here, our own community, where we live and work and read this weekly newspaper!!!
That amount of money -- $50 million -- if even partially spent with local merchants, professionals and other service-providers, will have an enormous impact on our community which will be felt for many years to come. For some small businesses, it could mean the difference between surviving and closing… which means, for many small business employees, it’s the difference between having a job and not having a job.
The giant multi-national chains have launched massive marketing plans to capture as much of that money as possible.
One large grocery chain, I’m informed, is offering a special gift card: If you use your check to buy a $300 card now, they’ll let you buy $310 or so worth of groceries with it later.
Other big corporations have their own schemes to get as much of your money as possible. I don’t fault them for it. I’m sure that their investors will profit handsomely, before sending on a share of our economic stimulus funds to the manufacturers of their products in China and beyond.
There is little question that Wall Street and China will benefit nicely from this infusion of our cash. So be it. The world IS flat, I guess.
But… I want to do my part to make sure that OUR little corner of the world also does okay. I want our community’s economy to be stimulated along with Wall Street and China! And I am especially interested in rewarding those struggling, smaller businesses who, despite their own challenges, always help support our community.
Before you spend your new money, ask yourself these questions about the business you’re spending it with:
Do they help support our community by sponsoring youth sports teams, band-boosters, and cheerleader camps? Do they participate in the local chamber of commerce or other civic organizations? Do they help underwrite the high school year books and sports program books with their advertising dollars?
Or do they simply take from the consumers in this community, without giving anything back? Are they really a part of our local economy, with local owners and well-paid employees, or do they just make all the profit they can, and then wire our money off each week to a home office a thousand miles away?
Everyone who knows me knows I’m a boundless, unrelenting optimist, full of patriotic fervor. As always, I’m pulling for America, and I’m confident that better days are ahead!
And while we’re saving the nation, I’m also unabashedly encouraging you to “Shop Local” in your own backyard community. Whether you’re using your extra check for a new car, new furniture, as part of a down-payment for a new house, to fix up your old house, or just pampering yourself with lots of smaller items or services, you should pay attention to make sure the company you’re spending with is a good-neighbor to our community.
And let’em know you’re pulling for them!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Nostalging about 1962
This weekend, I realized – once again – that my world is changing A LOT. Frankly, I’m not happy with it. I want my old world back.
First, I went to the post office, where I got a notice that the postage rate is increasing again next month. Then, I went to pump gas, and noticed that it had reached a new high: $3.50 per gallon. (Actually, it was several cents over $3.50, but when the price is that high, rounding off to the nearest 10-cents seems reasonable.)
Later in the weekend, I was watching cable TV, and I saw an ad about “digital TV” coming next year. The ad said if you have an old-style analog TV, you will need to get a “converter box”. (I couldn’t figure why they would be airing that ad on cable TV, since anybody with cable already has an updated TV.)
Finally, most frightening of all, I realized that my clothes are tattered and no longer fit me, meaning I will soon need to shop for new duds. This brings to mind the change which disturbs me most: fashion!
Since I only shop for clothes once every 20 years or so, the mere prospect causes culture shock. And since I do most of my shopping at Goodwill, I’m typically about 30 years behind the fashion trends… which was a REAL problem back when I wore neckties, because the neckwear trend seemed to shift from “thin” to “wide” and back to “thin” and back to “wide” about every six months. It was really hard to keep up.
Anyway, these impending changes – postage, gasoline, TV, and fashion – caused me to start daydreaming about the good old days again.
Postage, for instance. The first letters I ever mailed cost me 4-cents for the stamp. I think I still remember the design of those stamps. They were purplish, with a likeness of Lincoln. When postage increased to 5-cent later in the 60’s, George Washington appeared on the stamp. I believe the price went up shortly after the invention of the Zip Code in 1963. For the first few years, the zip code was optional. I think it was a trick by the federal government.
Gasoline in the good old days was great! I remember 25-cent a gallon… and for your quarter, you got a small army of guys washing your windshield, checking your oil, and filling your tires with air while the gas was being pumped. By the time I myself started driving in the late 60’s, it had risen to a whopping 30-cent a gallon.
Incidentally, I pumped that gas into a green and white 53 Chevy that my dad had bought me for $60. It was straight drive – three speed on the column – so after a few weeks of driving it, I decided to learn what a “clutch” was.
Prior to the Chevy, I rode a bicyle… anywhere I wanted to ride it. At 10 or 12 years old, I could ride as far as I wanted to, and nobody thought anything of it. It wasn’t unusual for me to take off on a 10 or 15 mile ride, to the country, or the city, or the lake.
I remember a battery-operated engine-noise toy they came out with called the V-Rroom. Rich kids had them on their bikes to make them sound like motorcyles. (I had cards with clothespins that made noise when they hit the spokes.)
There were some really great toys back then. I didn’t own them all, but I KNEW them all, because they were all advertised during Saturday morning cartoons. Starting with Mr. Potato Head in the 50’s, Hasbro and Mattel learned the power of TV advertising on kids… and they churned out toy after toy for our Baby Boomer generation… like the Rock’em Sock’em Robots, Easy Bake Oven, and G. I. Joe. Today, I’m happy to say that I never owned a G.I. Joe… or an Easy Bake Oven, for that matter… but I did have a Johnny Seven – seven weapons in one!!! Also, I had a Twister and a Slip and Slide. I personally loved the Slip and Slide. What’s not to love about diving head first onto a wet strip of plastic?
Then there were Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, and Etch-a-Sketch… artistic design-and-build type toys that gave me my first indications -- at a very early age -- that I did not, in fact, possess any particular talent. (At about the same time, the nationwide Yo-Yo and Hula Hoop fads were hinting to me that I also seemed to lack skills that required any type of coordination. While I was feeling good about getting the yo-yo to come back to my hand, my four-year younger friends were doing “Walk the Dog” and “Around the World”.)
Until I was a teenager, our family’s only TV was a black and white which received only one channel: WIS, the only VHF station in the market. Of course, I didn’t know what “VHF” meant, until years later when we got a black and white TV with a circular UHF antenna. And suddenly, we had THREE different channels to choose from.
I still remember seeing my first color TV, which had been purchased by a rich relative. This same relative also was the first to have a home with…. AIR CONDITIONING!!! And, I think probably that’s where I saw my first telephone that had push buttons instead of a rotary dial on it.
Do you remember 19-cent hamburgers? Lot’s of places had them back then. Hite’s Dairy Bar in Lexington sold 19-cent hamburgers, milkshakes and French fries. I think McDonalds and Hardees did, too… but there weren’t any around until a little later.
Is it just my imagination, but did all of the original Hardee’s have roofs on them that were shaped sorta like upside down umbrellas?
While I’m nostalging (a word I made up right now, for this column), how about… Dime Stores? Fallout shelters? Diet Rite and Tab? Slinky and Super Ball? Grocery stores before super markets? You know, the kind that had the giant cookies on the counter that you could buy one cookie at a time? Ah, the good old days!
Which brings me to fashion styles I can relate to: like clam-diggers. And shirts with loops on the back of the neck. Crew cuts and flat tops. Letter sweaters. Keds. Penny-loafers. Saddle-oxfords. I liked the looks of Bermuda shorts and pedal pushers. Pants had cuffs. Socks were white. Belts were black. And so were the rims of eyeglasses.
These were the fashions I could relate to. Then, all of a sudden, things changed: Bell-bottom pants. Tie-dyed shirts. Granny glasses. Go-go boots and platform shoes. Love Beads. Mini-skirts. (Okay, mini-skirts were actually okay with me. But not the others.)
And now, its tattoos and piercings, to go along baggy pants hanging down around the knees and inflatable shoes.
I’ve completely lost track. I miss the good old days.
Next week, I’m going shopping for some “new” clothes. I hope they have white socks and black belts.
First, I went to the post office, where I got a notice that the postage rate is increasing again next month. Then, I went to pump gas, and noticed that it had reached a new high: $3.50 per gallon. (Actually, it was several cents over $3.50, but when the price is that high, rounding off to the nearest 10-cents seems reasonable.)
Later in the weekend, I was watching cable TV, and I saw an ad about “digital TV” coming next year. The ad said if you have an old-style analog TV, you will need to get a “converter box”. (I couldn’t figure why they would be airing that ad on cable TV, since anybody with cable already has an updated TV.)
Finally, most frightening of all, I realized that my clothes are tattered and no longer fit me, meaning I will soon need to shop for new duds. This brings to mind the change which disturbs me most: fashion!
Since I only shop for clothes once every 20 years or so, the mere prospect causes culture shock. And since I do most of my shopping at Goodwill, I’m typically about 30 years behind the fashion trends… which was a REAL problem back when I wore neckties, because the neckwear trend seemed to shift from “thin” to “wide” and back to “thin” and back to “wide” about every six months. It was really hard to keep up.
Anyway, these impending changes – postage, gasoline, TV, and fashion – caused me to start daydreaming about the good old days again.
Postage, for instance. The first letters I ever mailed cost me 4-cents for the stamp. I think I still remember the design of those stamps. They were purplish, with a likeness of Lincoln. When postage increased to 5-cent later in the 60’s, George Washington appeared on the stamp. I believe the price went up shortly after the invention of the Zip Code in 1963. For the first few years, the zip code was optional. I think it was a trick by the federal government.
Gasoline in the good old days was great! I remember 25-cent a gallon… and for your quarter, you got a small army of guys washing your windshield, checking your oil, and filling your tires with air while the gas was being pumped. By the time I myself started driving in the late 60’s, it had risen to a whopping 30-cent a gallon.
Incidentally, I pumped that gas into a green and white 53 Chevy that my dad had bought me for $60. It was straight drive – three speed on the column – so after a few weeks of driving it, I decided to learn what a “clutch” was.
Prior to the Chevy, I rode a bicyle… anywhere I wanted to ride it. At 10 or 12 years old, I could ride as far as I wanted to, and nobody thought anything of it. It wasn’t unusual for me to take off on a 10 or 15 mile ride, to the country, or the city, or the lake.
I remember a battery-operated engine-noise toy they came out with called the V-Rroom. Rich kids had them on their bikes to make them sound like motorcyles. (I had cards with clothespins that made noise when they hit the spokes.)
There were some really great toys back then. I didn’t own them all, but I KNEW them all, because they were all advertised during Saturday morning cartoons. Starting with Mr. Potato Head in the 50’s, Hasbro and Mattel learned the power of TV advertising on kids… and they churned out toy after toy for our Baby Boomer generation… like the Rock’em Sock’em Robots, Easy Bake Oven, and G. I. Joe. Today, I’m happy to say that I never owned a G.I. Joe… or an Easy Bake Oven, for that matter… but I did have a Johnny Seven – seven weapons in one!!! Also, I had a Twister and a Slip and Slide. I personally loved the Slip and Slide. What’s not to love about diving head first onto a wet strip of plastic?
Then there were Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, and Etch-a-Sketch… artistic design-and-build type toys that gave me my first indications -- at a very early age -- that I did not, in fact, possess any particular talent. (At about the same time, the nationwide Yo-Yo and Hula Hoop fads were hinting to me that I also seemed to lack skills that required any type of coordination. While I was feeling good about getting the yo-yo to come back to my hand, my four-year younger friends were doing “Walk the Dog” and “Around the World”.)
Until I was a teenager, our family’s only TV was a black and white which received only one channel: WIS, the only VHF station in the market. Of course, I didn’t know what “VHF” meant, until years later when we got a black and white TV with a circular UHF antenna. And suddenly, we had THREE different channels to choose from.
I still remember seeing my first color TV, which had been purchased by a rich relative. This same relative also was the first to have a home with…. AIR CONDITIONING!!! And, I think probably that’s where I saw my first telephone that had push buttons instead of a rotary dial on it.
Do you remember 19-cent hamburgers? Lot’s of places had them back then. Hite’s Dairy Bar in Lexington sold 19-cent hamburgers, milkshakes and French fries. I think McDonalds and Hardees did, too… but there weren’t any around until a little later.
Is it just my imagination, but did all of the original Hardee’s have roofs on them that were shaped sorta like upside down umbrellas?
While I’m nostalging (a word I made up right now, for this column), how about… Dime Stores? Fallout shelters? Diet Rite and Tab? Slinky and Super Ball? Grocery stores before super markets? You know, the kind that had the giant cookies on the counter that you could buy one cookie at a time? Ah, the good old days!
Which brings me to fashion styles I can relate to: like clam-diggers. And shirts with loops on the back of the neck. Crew cuts and flat tops. Letter sweaters. Keds. Penny-loafers. Saddle-oxfords. I liked the looks of Bermuda shorts and pedal pushers. Pants had cuffs. Socks were white. Belts were black. And so were the rims of eyeglasses.
These were the fashions I could relate to. Then, all of a sudden, things changed: Bell-bottom pants. Tie-dyed shirts. Granny glasses. Go-go boots and platform shoes. Love Beads. Mini-skirts. (Okay, mini-skirts were actually okay with me. But not the others.)
And now, its tattoos and piercings, to go along baggy pants hanging down around the knees and inflatable shoes.
I’ve completely lost track. I miss the good old days.
Next week, I’m going shopping for some “new” clothes. I hope they have white socks and black belts.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Happy 50th, Mom and Dad (reprinted from June 1997)
In addition to celebrating Father's Day this weekend, the Shealys will be observing another occasion: the 50th Wedding Anniversary of our parents, Ryan and Elsie Shealy.
Ryan and Elsie Shealy -- who we usually refer to as "Mom & Dad" -- have been fairly well-known here in the local community… he with a political career which began in the 1950s and lasted into the 90s, and she with a successful career that led her to travel the nation as a motivational speaker. They are not only well-known, but well-liked and well-respected (leading to the obvious question which you, the reader, are probably struggling with in your mind right now: "So what happened to YOU?"
But that's a whole 'nother story.) As the second-born of their five children, I am understandably proud of my folks on this occasion. But as a newspaper writer I have an additional reaction: Hey, this is a GREAT story!
The truth is, I got both my political and my newspaper roots from my parents. Many times I've told the story of Dad's first run for the State House of Representatives in 1954, when I was first exposed to political campaigns. Since Mom attended all the political stump meetings to support Dad, and I was only six months old at the time, they came up with the very creative idea of putting "Vote for Pop" sign on my diapers, making me a political advertisement, of sorts. At six-months-old, I was cute…and Dad won the race!
It was my first experience in political campaigns. My newspaper roots probably took hold even before that. While they were still a struggling young couple, Dad worked three jobs to help put himself through college. One of those jobs was newspaper carrier. And when I was born in December 1953, Dad went out and collected his delivery route a little early to scrape together enough money to get me out of the hospital. I figure that episode was my earliest involvement in the newspaper industry.
That's when MY story began, but the Ryan and Elsie story started long before that. Growing up at the site of the still-under-construction Lake Murray, Elsie Porth was the youngest of five children in her family, and the first to go to college. She graduated from Columbia College and immediately took a job teaching high school.
Ryan, on the other hand, grew up plowing behind a mule to help support his family, his adoptive father having died when he was very young. He quit Batesburg-Leesville High School to get a job at the Charleston Naval Yard, later enlisting in the Navy during World War II.
Returning from the war, he decided to return to high school to prepare for college. It was there that Ryan met Elsie… his high school math teacher. But when the teacher and student began to date, the school administration was not amused. Elsie gained her soon-to-be husband, but lost her teaching job! She quickly found another teaching job, but the early years continued to be a struggle for the young couple as he completed his education.
In addition to his other jobs, he found that he could earn $25 to $100 per fight as a boxer, a talent he had discovered in the Navy. So once or twice a month, they would drive to various cities around the Southeast to engage in the sport of Professional Boxing. He ended his career after 33 pro fights with a record of 22 and 11.
In the early fifties, a sales manager for an encyclopedia company wanted to hire Ryan as a door-to-door salesman. Learning that Elsie was a teacher, he invited her to come along to the training class. Reluctantly, she attended but sat in the back of the room so she could slip out the door and leave. But something she heard in the class caught her attention! The sales manager mentioned a program which guaranteed earnings whether you sold any encyclopedias or not…just for showing books to 50 people!
Knowing she had several dozen aunts and uncles, she took the job selling World Book Encyclopedia. Now its 50 years and five children later. Things have changed. The couple which had to scrape together money to get their first son out of the hospital is now able to afford to take the entire family on a 50th Anniversary Cruise to the Bahamas… and pay for everyone!!!
The job Elsie took with World Book turned it into a career. When she retired several years ago, she was one of the top five officers in the organization: Senior Vice President for Sales for the North American continent. She was a sought-after motivational speaker, and in the late 1980's was selected as the South Carolina Mother of the Year.
After retiring from World Book, she spent five years speaking to various groups and organizations around the nation and in several other countries.
Ryan left newspaper delivery and pro boxing in favor of politics, serving 12 years in the S.C. House, leaving office for 12 years, then serving 12 years in the S.C. Senate. During his recent Senate years, he was best known for his unsuccessful one-man crusade to bring a lottery to South Carolina, and his successful efforts to block various tax increases. (Long forgotten are the earlier efforts during the 1950's and 60's, which led to the creation of such institutions as the Columbia Metropolitan Airport, Lexington Medical Center, Riverbanks Zoo, and Midlands Technical College.)
If I sound like a proud son… well, I am. But, of course, this is a newspaper column, not an Anniversary Card (although it may save me the 50 cents I would otherwise spend on a card).
And since it is a column, not a card, I thought I would tell you a few of my personal favorite highlights from Ryan and Elsie's First 50 Years:
We lost on Family Feud… TWICE! During the 80's our family appeared not once, but twice, on the TV game show. We were really not very good, but apparently the producers enjoyed watching the way we lost, so they flew us back out to California to watch us lose again!
In 1959, Dad waterskiied from Columbia to Charleston… while Mom was out of town. I was five at the time. He told me not to tell Mom. Guess he didn't realize it was going to be printed in every newspaper in the state!
A few years later our family -- three kids at the time -- took a two day adventure down the river from Columbia to Charleston in a cabin cruiser. We got lost in the rice fields, and ended up ten miles from the river. Nowadays, I think about it every time I see "African Queen."
In addition to Family Feud, Dad also once appeared on "The Price is Right." He won some furniture. The whole family was in New York City at the time. Being about seven years old, I was a lot more impressed with (A) the Auto-Mat (B) sitting in the audience for "Concentration," and realizing that there were APPLAUSE signs telling the audience when to clap!
Mom likes to talk, and she's really good at it. Her company asked her to be the keynote speaker at her own retirement program. It was at some really big theatre in Atlanta. They had Zig Ziglar to speak before her, and singer Lee Greenwood to close the program after her speech. She's a really good talker.
In 1965 our family took a vacation by car to California… right through the desert. The day before we left, Dad bought a new car for the trip… well, new to us, anyway. It was a three-seater station wagon with the fold-down door in the back. We folded down the back and stacked the luggage on it. Then I rode in the back seat while Mom and Dad rode in the front and my two sisters rode in the middle. It was hot going through the desert. It wasn't until a few days after we returned from the two week trip that I discovered this car had something I had never seen before… air conditioning. (The front and middle seats had it for the whole trip… but the cool air never made it to me with the back open. I didn't have a clue!)
At a campaign speech in Pelion in 1956, Dad did something which had never been done by a Southern politician before: He publicly denounced the Ku Klux Klan.
It made headlines. It cost him votes. He knew it was not a politically wise thing to do. But he knew it was the right thing to do. And so he did it.
That was the principle which guided him through four decades of politics. He didn't really worry about what people said or what newspapers wrote. He just always tried to do the right thing.
I happen to know that is also the principle that guided Mom and Dad through the 50 years of marriage, and 48 years of being parents. And that, more than anything else, is why I am immensely proud of them.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
(Note from Rod: This column was original written in 1997... probably before I had even heard of "The Internet"... but I wanted this long forgotten column to be available on my blog. We lost Dad to cancer in March, 2001. Mom is the same great mom she's been for my entire life. I was blessed with the two best parents I could imagine.)
Ryan and Elsie Shealy -- who we usually refer to as "Mom & Dad" -- have been fairly well-known here in the local community… he with a political career which began in the 1950s and lasted into the 90s, and she with a successful career that led her to travel the nation as a motivational speaker. They are not only well-known, but well-liked and well-respected (leading to the obvious question which you, the reader, are probably struggling with in your mind right now: "So what happened to YOU?"
But that's a whole 'nother story.) As the second-born of their five children, I am understandably proud of my folks on this occasion. But as a newspaper writer I have an additional reaction: Hey, this is a GREAT story!
The truth is, I got both my political and my newspaper roots from my parents. Many times I've told the story of Dad's first run for the State House of Representatives in 1954, when I was first exposed to political campaigns. Since Mom attended all the political stump meetings to support Dad, and I was only six months old at the time, they came up with the very creative idea of putting "Vote for Pop" sign on my diapers, making me a political advertisement, of sorts. At six-months-old, I was cute…and Dad won the race!
It was my first experience in political campaigns. My newspaper roots probably took hold even before that. While they were still a struggling young couple, Dad worked three jobs to help put himself through college. One of those jobs was newspaper carrier. And when I was born in December 1953, Dad went out and collected his delivery route a little early to scrape together enough money to get me out of the hospital. I figure that episode was my earliest involvement in the newspaper industry.
That's when MY story began, but the Ryan and Elsie story started long before that. Growing up at the site of the still-under-construction Lake Murray, Elsie Porth was the youngest of five children in her family, and the first to go to college. She graduated from Columbia College and immediately took a job teaching high school.
Ryan, on the other hand, grew up plowing behind a mule to help support his family, his adoptive father having died when he was very young. He quit Batesburg-Leesville High School to get a job at the Charleston Naval Yard, later enlisting in the Navy during World War II.
Returning from the war, he decided to return to high school to prepare for college. It was there that Ryan met Elsie… his high school math teacher. But when the teacher and student began to date, the school administration was not amused. Elsie gained her soon-to-be husband, but lost her teaching job! She quickly found another teaching job, but the early years continued to be a struggle for the young couple as he completed his education.
In addition to his other jobs, he found that he could earn $25 to $100 per fight as a boxer, a talent he had discovered in the Navy. So once or twice a month, they would drive to various cities around the Southeast to engage in the sport of Professional Boxing. He ended his career after 33 pro fights with a record of 22 and 11.
In the early fifties, a sales manager for an encyclopedia company wanted to hire Ryan as a door-to-door salesman. Learning that Elsie was a teacher, he invited her to come along to the training class. Reluctantly, she attended but sat in the back of the room so she could slip out the door and leave. But something she heard in the class caught her attention! The sales manager mentioned a program which guaranteed earnings whether you sold any encyclopedias or not…just for showing books to 50 people!
Knowing she had several dozen aunts and uncles, she took the job selling World Book Encyclopedia. Now its 50 years and five children later. Things have changed. The couple which had to scrape together money to get their first son out of the hospital is now able to afford to take the entire family on a 50th Anniversary Cruise to the Bahamas… and pay for everyone!!!
The job Elsie took with World Book turned it into a career. When she retired several years ago, she was one of the top five officers in the organization: Senior Vice President for Sales for the North American continent. She was a sought-after motivational speaker, and in the late 1980's was selected as the South Carolina Mother of the Year.
After retiring from World Book, she spent five years speaking to various groups and organizations around the nation and in several other countries.
Ryan left newspaper delivery and pro boxing in favor of politics, serving 12 years in the S.C. House, leaving office for 12 years, then serving 12 years in the S.C. Senate. During his recent Senate years, he was best known for his unsuccessful one-man crusade to bring a lottery to South Carolina, and his successful efforts to block various tax increases. (Long forgotten are the earlier efforts during the 1950's and 60's, which led to the creation of such institutions as the Columbia Metropolitan Airport, Lexington Medical Center, Riverbanks Zoo, and Midlands Technical College.)
If I sound like a proud son… well, I am. But, of course, this is a newspaper column, not an Anniversary Card (although it may save me the 50 cents I would otherwise spend on a card).
And since it is a column, not a card, I thought I would tell you a few of my personal favorite highlights from Ryan and Elsie's First 50 Years:
We lost on Family Feud… TWICE! During the 80's our family appeared not once, but twice, on the TV game show. We were really not very good, but apparently the producers enjoyed watching the way we lost, so they flew us back out to California to watch us lose again!
In 1959, Dad waterskiied from Columbia to Charleston… while Mom was out of town. I was five at the time. He told me not to tell Mom. Guess he didn't realize it was going to be printed in every newspaper in the state!
A few years later our family -- three kids at the time -- took a two day adventure down the river from Columbia to Charleston in a cabin cruiser. We got lost in the rice fields, and ended up ten miles from the river. Nowadays, I think about it every time I see "African Queen."
In addition to Family Feud, Dad also once appeared on "The Price is Right." He won some furniture. The whole family was in New York City at the time. Being about seven years old, I was a lot more impressed with (A) the Auto-Mat (B) sitting in the audience for "Concentration," and realizing that there were APPLAUSE signs telling the audience when to clap!
Mom likes to talk, and she's really good at it. Her company asked her to be the keynote speaker at her own retirement program. It was at some really big theatre in Atlanta. They had Zig Ziglar to speak before her, and singer Lee Greenwood to close the program after her speech. She's a really good talker.
In 1965 our family took a vacation by car to California… right through the desert. The day before we left, Dad bought a new car for the trip… well, new to us, anyway. It was a three-seater station wagon with the fold-down door in the back. We folded down the back and stacked the luggage on it. Then I rode in the back seat while Mom and Dad rode in the front and my two sisters rode in the middle. It was hot going through the desert. It wasn't until a few days after we returned from the two week trip that I discovered this car had something I had never seen before… air conditioning. (The front and middle seats had it for the whole trip… but the cool air never made it to me with the back open. I didn't have a clue!)
At a campaign speech in Pelion in 1956, Dad did something which had never been done by a Southern politician before: He publicly denounced the Ku Klux Klan.
It made headlines. It cost him votes. He knew it was not a politically wise thing to do. But he knew it was the right thing to do. And so he did it.
That was the principle which guided him through four decades of politics. He didn't really worry about what people said or what newspapers wrote. He just always tried to do the right thing.
I happen to know that is also the principle that guided Mom and Dad through the 50 years of marriage, and 48 years of being parents. And that, more than anything else, is why I am immensely proud of them.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
(Note from Rod: This column was original written in 1997... probably before I had even heard of "The Internet"... but I wanted this long forgotten column to be available on my blog. We lost Dad to cancer in March, 2001. Mom is the same great mom she's been for my entire life. I was blessed with the two best parents I could imagine.)
Shining a touch of light on politics
Last week may have been a significant milestone in the history of the Palmetto State. On April 10th, a little-known provision of law took effect which could have major long-term implications to ensure good government.
For the first time, all candidates for state office are required to file financial disclosures for their campaigns online, and, for the first time, the public has real access to information about who contributes how much to politicians in our state.
That’s potentially useful information for the public to have. It allows anyone to “follow the money” to determine whether candidates and/or elected officials are being unduly influenced by campaign contributors.
Let me state clearly my belief that political campaign contributions are positives, not negatives. For most Americans, making a financial donation to a campaign or cause they support is the quickest, easiest way to be involved in the political process. Since few people have enough spare time anymore to go door-knocking through their neighborhood in support of their favorite candidates, writing a check is a good way to try to make a difference.
There are instances, however, when the positive act of making a contribution is abused, and becomes a negative. When an individual or group, or even an entire industry, sets out to “bankroll” a candidate in order to circumvent the will of the people, then it’s a problem.
Here’s a hypothetical for instance: Let’s say Candidate Smith has received tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from the insurance industry. Once he’s in office, there’s a new law proposed to help keep insurance rates affordable. Candidate Smith – who is now elected official Smith – works to kill the new law. We might become a little suspicious -- wondering if Smith is standing up for his constituents, or for those giant insurance companies that funneled $47,000 into his campaign fund.
You probably will NOT be surprised to learn that situations such as this occur all the time. Trouble is, you can’t really put your finger on which candidates and which contributors… because you don’t happen to have that information available.
Actually, the information has been available since the mid-1970’s when our state enacted its first Campaign Disclosure laws. Unfortunately, it wasn’t available on the Internet, so the only people who were aware of these contribution patterns were the people who could take time away form work (Monday-Friday 8:30 til 5:00 pm) to drive down to the State Ethics office and pay 25-cents per page for copies of campaign disclosure reports. That meant the only people who ever looked at the reports were the news media and campaigns who were trying to dig up dirt on their opponents, or perhaps just trying to find out what their opponents were up to. (Being in the business of politics, I actually paid 25-cents per page for these reports on many, many occasions.)
But, back in 2002, under the leadership of former House Speaker David Wilkins, the state legislature passed a major reform requiring all state officials to file their campaign disclosures online.… and, starting last week, on April 10th, that information is now available to the whole world via the new-fangled Electronic Internet. It’s a very good thing.
Now, every member of the public can find out a little more about the candidates vying for their support, and have the information needed to make better voting decisions. And… the public will NOT be dependent on the news media or opposing campaigns to interpret the information.
I encourage you to visit the website -- www.SC.gov/PublicReporting -- and do a little checking up for yourself.
For the first time, all candidates for state office are required to file financial disclosures for their campaigns online, and, for the first time, the public has real access to information about who contributes how much to politicians in our state.
That’s potentially useful information for the public to have. It allows anyone to “follow the money” to determine whether candidates and/or elected officials are being unduly influenced by campaign contributors.
Let me state clearly my belief that political campaign contributions are positives, not negatives. For most Americans, making a financial donation to a campaign or cause they support is the quickest, easiest way to be involved in the political process. Since few people have enough spare time anymore to go door-knocking through their neighborhood in support of their favorite candidates, writing a check is a good way to try to make a difference.
There are instances, however, when the positive act of making a contribution is abused, and becomes a negative. When an individual or group, or even an entire industry, sets out to “bankroll” a candidate in order to circumvent the will of the people, then it’s a problem.
Here’s a hypothetical for instance: Let’s say Candidate Smith has received tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from the insurance industry. Once he’s in office, there’s a new law proposed to help keep insurance rates affordable. Candidate Smith – who is now elected official Smith – works to kill the new law. We might become a little suspicious -- wondering if Smith is standing up for his constituents, or for those giant insurance companies that funneled $47,000 into his campaign fund.
You probably will NOT be surprised to learn that situations such as this occur all the time. Trouble is, you can’t really put your finger on which candidates and which contributors… because you don’t happen to have that information available.
Actually, the information has been available since the mid-1970’s when our state enacted its first Campaign Disclosure laws. Unfortunately, it wasn’t available on the Internet, so the only people who were aware of these contribution patterns were the people who could take time away form work (Monday-Friday 8:30 til 5:00 pm) to drive down to the State Ethics office and pay 25-cents per page for copies of campaign disclosure reports. That meant the only people who ever looked at the reports were the news media and campaigns who were trying to dig up dirt on their opponents, or perhaps just trying to find out what their opponents were up to. (Being in the business of politics, I actually paid 25-cents per page for these reports on many, many occasions.)
But, back in 2002, under the leadership of former House Speaker David Wilkins, the state legislature passed a major reform requiring all state officials to file their campaign disclosures online.… and, starting last week, on April 10th, that information is now available to the whole world via the new-fangled Electronic Internet. It’s a very good thing.
Now, every member of the public can find out a little more about the candidates vying for their support, and have the information needed to make better voting decisions. And… the public will NOT be dependent on the news media or opposing campaigns to interpret the information.
I encourage you to visit the website -- www.SC.gov/PublicReporting -- and do a little checking up for yourself.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Excuses, excuses...
If you were paying attention, you may have noticed the absence of my weekly column from the newspaper last week. (If you did NOT notice, disregard the remainder of this column. Have a great week. See you next time!)
My January, 2007, New Years Resolution to pen an article each week made it all the way up to April, 2008 without skipping a beat. Keeping score? I made it 60 weeks straight… significantly better than I did with any of my other resolutions: go on a diet, exercise regularly, and quit being such a bonehead.
Yes, the streak is over. I missed a week. BUT… it’s not my fault.
The reason it’s not my fault is because I am an American… and one of the things we Americans seem to do best anymore is make excuses (...and place blame.) As an American, I feel its my patriotic duty to offer a few excuses as to why my column failed to appear last week.
Here they are. Take your pick.
Excuse 1: Writers block. That would be a really good excuse, except that you probably know I’m really not much of a writer – mostly just random drivel and rambling- clutter claptrap.
Excuse 2: The dog ate my column. In elementary school, this was one of my favorite excuses. My classmates used it a lot, too: “Rod’s dog ate my homework”. It didn’t work back then, probably still won’t work.
Excuse 3: My car wouldn’t start. This, I think, is the adult equivalent of “the dog ate my homework”. In the American workplace, it’s the gold standard. And if you’ve seen my car… well, you know I’m a great candidate for “my car wouldn’t start”. I can use it three or four times a week, and still be credible.
Excuse 4: Overslept/alarm clock didn’t go off. A very solid excuse. And timely, because of the Daylight Savings thing that happened a few weeks ago. Who’s to say I didn’t “spring back” by mistake? That would have put me TWO HOURS off.
Excuse 5: Random Drivel Block. How do we know those of us who are virtual prodigies in the art of Random Drivel can’t suddenly go blank, just like our second cousins, The Writers? What makes them so special?
Excuse 6: Rain. Ballgames are rained out all the time. So are parades and festivals. Painters and roofers can’t work on rainy days. My column could have been rained out. Could’ve! Could so! Could, too! Could’ve! Could’ve! Could’ve! I said it first. A million times. You’re it! I’m on base.
Excuse 7: Global Warming. Since NOBODY thinks rain was a good excuse for not writing a column – never mind the fact that there might have been lightning, and since I write my column on an ELECTRIC laptop computer, I would have to shut if off during the lighting storm, or else electricity could come up through the power cord and electrocute me!!! – let’s go for a really, hip, with-it biggie: Global Warming. Everybody respects Global Warming as an excuse.
Excuse 8: My column was censored by the authorities. Not a bad one. Very plausible, knowing some of the rambling clutter claptrap I sometimes publish.
Excuse 9: The dog ate my computer power cord. An updated version of my third grade favorite.
Excuse 10: It was there… you just missed it! Did you check page 64?
Excuse 11: It’s not my job. While this may sound lame, it could really work. Since I’m the publisher, I could just assign the job of writing my column to someone else… at the very last minute. Then, when it doesn’t appear, it’s not my fault, it’s their’s!
Excuse 12: What I wrote last week, you didn’t WANT to read.
Excuse 13: I forgot. I’m old. I’m feeble-minded. Has it been a week already? What day is it? Where am I? Who am I?
Excuse 14: APRIL FOOLS!!! My column for the first week in April was NO column – ON PURPOSE, as an April Fool’s Gag. It’s the all-time greatest April 1st Scam. My column was NO column… which means, technically, I haven’t really missed a week after all.
So I’ll see you next week, for my 63rd column in a row!
My January, 2007, New Years Resolution to pen an article each week made it all the way up to April, 2008 without skipping a beat. Keeping score? I made it 60 weeks straight… significantly better than I did with any of my other resolutions: go on a diet, exercise regularly, and quit being such a bonehead.
Yes, the streak is over. I missed a week. BUT… it’s not my fault.
The reason it’s not my fault is because I am an American… and one of the things we Americans seem to do best anymore is make excuses (...and place blame.) As an American, I feel its my patriotic duty to offer a few excuses as to why my column failed to appear last week.
Here they are. Take your pick.
Excuse 1: Writers block. That would be a really good excuse, except that you probably know I’m really not much of a writer – mostly just random drivel and rambling- clutter claptrap.
Excuse 2: The dog ate my column. In elementary school, this was one of my favorite excuses. My classmates used it a lot, too: “Rod’s dog ate my homework”. It didn’t work back then, probably still won’t work.
Excuse 3: My car wouldn’t start. This, I think, is the adult equivalent of “the dog ate my homework”. In the American workplace, it’s the gold standard. And if you’ve seen my car… well, you know I’m a great candidate for “my car wouldn’t start”. I can use it three or four times a week, and still be credible.
Excuse 4: Overslept/alarm clock didn’t go off. A very solid excuse. And timely, because of the Daylight Savings thing that happened a few weeks ago. Who’s to say I didn’t “spring back” by mistake? That would have put me TWO HOURS off.
Excuse 5: Random Drivel Block. How do we know those of us who are virtual prodigies in the art of Random Drivel can’t suddenly go blank, just like our second cousins, The Writers? What makes them so special?
Excuse 6: Rain. Ballgames are rained out all the time. So are parades and festivals. Painters and roofers can’t work on rainy days. My column could have been rained out. Could’ve! Could so! Could, too! Could’ve! Could’ve! Could’ve! I said it first. A million times. You’re it! I’m on base.
Excuse 7: Global Warming. Since NOBODY thinks rain was a good excuse for not writing a column – never mind the fact that there might have been lightning, and since I write my column on an ELECTRIC laptop computer, I would have to shut if off during the lighting storm, or else electricity could come up through the power cord and electrocute me!!! – let’s go for a really, hip, with-it biggie: Global Warming. Everybody respects Global Warming as an excuse.
Excuse 8: My column was censored by the authorities. Not a bad one. Very plausible, knowing some of the rambling clutter claptrap I sometimes publish.
Excuse 9: The dog ate my computer power cord. An updated version of my third grade favorite.
Excuse 10: It was there… you just missed it! Did you check page 64?
Excuse 11: It’s not my job. While this may sound lame, it could really work. Since I’m the publisher, I could just assign the job of writing my column to someone else… at the very last minute. Then, when it doesn’t appear, it’s not my fault, it’s their’s!
Excuse 12: What I wrote last week, you didn’t WANT to read.
Excuse 13: I forgot. I’m old. I’m feeble-minded. Has it been a week already? What day is it? Where am I? Who am I?
Excuse 14: APRIL FOOLS!!! My column for the first week in April was NO column – ON PURPOSE, as an April Fool’s Gag. It’s the all-time greatest April 1st Scam. My column was NO column… which means, technically, I haven’t really missed a week after all.
So I’ll see you next week, for my 63rd column in a row!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Election Day in March
There is a little known fact that most elections in our state are not decided by the November General Election or the June Primary Election. Most of them are decided at noon on March 30th.
That’s the deadline for candidates to officially file for office if they wish to be listed on this year’s ballot as the nominee of a major party.
By law, the General Election is held every other year on “the first Tuesday after a Monday in November”, which means the date can fall anywhere between November 2nd and November 8th. (For some reason, the framers of that schedule didn’t want the election to ever fall on Nov. 1st, so they made sure there had to be a Monday first.)
South Carolina’s June primaries are always held on the second Tuesday in June, which is a slightly less complicated schedule than the November date.
But many elected officials don’t face any election competition at all because no one steps forward to challenge them for their office. (This is what’s known in political jargon as getting a “free ride”.)
Next week, every congressman, every state senator, every state legislator, and approximately half of all the county councilmen and other county officials will be watching the clock at noon on March 30th to find out who, if anyone, will be their opponent in this election year.
By my calculations, over 1,000 federal, state, and local offices will be filled in the November General Election. For most of them, however, the election will merely be a formality, because they will have gotten a “free ride” this year.
I’m not suggesting that this is a bad thing. Frankly, a lot of these incumbents are my friends, and I believe they do a pretty good job… or at least as good as the next group would do.
As much as the public seems to gripe about politicians, the problem is just as much US (the people) as it is them (the politicians).
A huge majority of the people – I’m guessing over 99%, including me -- cannot name each of the elected officials who have been elected to serve them. (Before you get all huffy thinking you CAN name them, remind yourself that you vote for offices like Register of Mesne Conveyance, Comptroller General, Clerk of Court, Secretary of State, Probate Judge, and Auditor, as well as county council and school board!)
If you can’t name them, there’s a good chance that you don’t really know whether they’re doing a good job.
So let’s just re-elect them all. Or throw them all out. Either way, it’s about the same. We can elect an entirely new group, and we, the people, still won’t know their names or whether they’re doing a good job.
I know I’m sounding a bit cynical… but that’s only because I am.
But there’s good news!
Every two years, there are people who decide that they want to try to make a difference. And during the two week period that ends at noon on March 30th, those people call up the state or local election commission to find out where to go file the paperwork, get in their cars and drive to wherever they’re told, and officially become candidates for office. They create competition, which forces the voters pay just enough attention to make a choice.
Those people are what make the system work.
If you think you might want to be one of those people, I tip my hat to you. And here’s the phone number to the major political parties (Democratic Party – 803-799-7798; Republican Party – 803-988-8449) and the website to the State Election Commission (scvotes.org). They can tell you everything you need to know to become a candidate.
As I said, some of these incumbents are my friends and, given a choice, I’ll vote to re-elect them. But having someone step up to offer competition can’t be a bad thing.
And good luck to you!
That’s the deadline for candidates to officially file for office if they wish to be listed on this year’s ballot as the nominee of a major party.
By law, the General Election is held every other year on “the first Tuesday after a Monday in November”, which means the date can fall anywhere between November 2nd and November 8th. (For some reason, the framers of that schedule didn’t want the election to ever fall on Nov. 1st, so they made sure there had to be a Monday first.)
South Carolina’s June primaries are always held on the second Tuesday in June, which is a slightly less complicated schedule than the November date.
But many elected officials don’t face any election competition at all because no one steps forward to challenge them for their office. (This is what’s known in political jargon as getting a “free ride”.)
Next week, every congressman, every state senator, every state legislator, and approximately half of all the county councilmen and other county officials will be watching the clock at noon on March 30th to find out who, if anyone, will be their opponent in this election year.
By my calculations, over 1,000 federal, state, and local offices will be filled in the November General Election. For most of them, however, the election will merely be a formality, because they will have gotten a “free ride” this year.
I’m not suggesting that this is a bad thing. Frankly, a lot of these incumbents are my friends, and I believe they do a pretty good job… or at least as good as the next group would do.
As much as the public seems to gripe about politicians, the problem is just as much US (the people) as it is them (the politicians).
A huge majority of the people – I’m guessing over 99%, including me -- cannot name each of the elected officials who have been elected to serve them. (Before you get all huffy thinking you CAN name them, remind yourself that you vote for offices like Register of Mesne Conveyance, Comptroller General, Clerk of Court, Secretary of State, Probate Judge, and Auditor, as well as county council and school board!)
If you can’t name them, there’s a good chance that you don’t really know whether they’re doing a good job.
So let’s just re-elect them all. Or throw them all out. Either way, it’s about the same. We can elect an entirely new group, and we, the people, still won’t know their names or whether they’re doing a good job.
I know I’m sounding a bit cynical… but that’s only because I am.
But there’s good news!
Every two years, there are people who decide that they want to try to make a difference. And during the two week period that ends at noon on March 30th, those people call up the state or local election commission to find out where to go file the paperwork, get in their cars and drive to wherever they’re told, and officially become candidates for office. They create competition, which forces the voters pay just enough attention to make a choice.
Those people are what make the system work.
If you think you might want to be one of those people, I tip my hat to you. And here’s the phone number to the major political parties (Democratic Party – 803-799-7798; Republican Party – 803-988-8449) and the website to the State Election Commission (scvotes.org). They can tell you everything you need to know to become a candidate.
As I said, some of these incumbents are my friends and, given a choice, I’ll vote to re-elect them. But having someone step up to offer competition can’t be a bad thing.
And good luck to you!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Economic Stimulus
Economic Stimulus
Unlike most weeks when I have little of value to say in this column, this week I actually have a message of some import, which I will state now at the outset, before wandering of into nonsensical, stream-of-consciousness prattle, as is my custom.
Here it is:
In the next few weeks, most readers will be receiving nice, fat economic stimulus checks from the federal government. I hope you’ll use those checks to stimulate our local economy by remembering the hundreds of smaller, local retailers and service-providers who are the backbone of our community.
There! I’ve said it. Now I can wander off into my normal, bizarre commentary before once again returning to the point. However, it’s an important point to be made – “Support those local businesses who support our community” – so I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose you with my verbosity before getting to the point.
You probably know that the economic stimulus package passed recently by Congress and signed into law by President W includes special “economic stimulus” checks for most taxpayers. In the next month or two, most taxpayers will receive big, fat juicy checks from the Federal Government. As I understand it, many families will receive from $1,200 to $2,000 or more, depending on the number of kids.
This is all designed, of course, to keep America from falling deeper into a recession. The government is giving you back your own money so you can spend it, and by spending it on your choice of goods or services, you are providing jobs and income for other Americans. That’s the way the economy works.
I won’t get into the whole concept of the government giving you back your own money. (It would take a book, not a newspaper column, for me to really give you my thoughts on that topic.)
Let me just say it’s a good idea. People spending their own money is what makes economies thrive. Government only gets in the way of the economy.
I’m reminded of my high school years as a school bus driver. During the training class, the instructor mentioned that each bus was equipped with a governor to moderate the speed. Not being mechanically inclined, I had never heard of that kind of governor before, only the ones who had been elected, like Hollings, Russell, McNair, and West. But I came to learn that engines on school buses were, indeed, equipped with governors designed to keep the engine from going too fast.
Since then, I have come to realize that governments have the same effect on economies. They restrict businesses and individuals. Governments slow us down with their endless rules and regulations, and hold back the economy by taking too much money out of the pockets of taxpayers.
But, now, this spring, they’re giving your money back, so that your can spend it. Let me repeat: The government wants you to spend the money. (Help save America… spend money!!!)
I did some figuring a few days ago, and I estimated that approximately $50 million of this money will be coming back to taxpayers in our small community… right here, where we live and work!!! That amount of money, if spent with local merchants, professionals and other service-providers, could have an enormous impact on our community.
You can bet that the giant multi-national chains have already launched massive marketing plans timed to capture as much of that money as possible. And I don’t fault them for it. I’m sure that their investors will profit handsomely, before sending on a share of our economic stimulus funds to the manufacturers of their products in China and beyond.
There is no question that Wall Street and China will benefit nicely from this infusion of our cash. So be it. The world IS flat, I guess.
But… I want to do my part to make sure that OUR little corner of the world also does okay. I want our community’s economy to be stimulated along with Wall Street and China! And I am especially interested in rewarding those struggling, smaller businesses who, despite their own challenges, always help support our community.
When you’re making plans to spend your new money, PLEASE take a minute to think about the business you’re spending it with.
Do they help support our community by sponsoring youth sports teams, band-boosters, and cheerleader camps? Do they participate in the local chamber of commerce or other civic organizations? Do they help underwrite the high school year books and sports program books with their advertising dollars?
Or do they simply take from the consumers in this community, without giving anything back? Are they really a part of our local economy, with local owners and well-paid employees, or do they just make all the profit they can, and then wire our money off each week to a home office a thousand miles away?
For our part, of course, we always try to promote the local businesses who advertise in this newspaper. They make your local newspaper possible, which is evidence of their local-nature.
But during the next few weeks, we’re going to re-double our efforts to encourage you to “Shop Local” and support our community. Whether you’re using your extra check for a new car, new furniture, as part of a down-payment for a new house, to fix up your old house, or just pampering yourself with lots of smaller items or services, you should pay attention to make sure the company you’re spending with is a good-neighbor to our community.
Let’s stimulate OUR economy!
Unlike most weeks when I have little of value to say in this column, this week I actually have a message of some import, which I will state now at the outset, before wandering of into nonsensical, stream-of-consciousness prattle, as is my custom.
Here it is:
In the next few weeks, most readers will be receiving nice, fat economic stimulus checks from the federal government. I hope you’ll use those checks to stimulate our local economy by remembering the hundreds of smaller, local retailers and service-providers who are the backbone of our community.
There! I’ve said it. Now I can wander off into my normal, bizarre commentary before once again returning to the point. However, it’s an important point to be made – “Support those local businesses who support our community” – so I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose you with my verbosity before getting to the point.
You probably know that the economic stimulus package passed recently by Congress and signed into law by President W includes special “economic stimulus” checks for most taxpayers. In the next month or two, most taxpayers will receive big, fat juicy checks from the Federal Government. As I understand it, many families will receive from $1,200 to $2,000 or more, depending on the number of kids.
This is all designed, of course, to keep America from falling deeper into a recession. The government is giving you back your own money so you can spend it, and by spending it on your choice of goods or services, you are providing jobs and income for other Americans. That’s the way the economy works.
I won’t get into the whole concept of the government giving you back your own money. (It would take a book, not a newspaper column, for me to really give you my thoughts on that topic.)
Let me just say it’s a good idea. People spending their own money is what makes economies thrive. Government only gets in the way of the economy.
I’m reminded of my high school years as a school bus driver. During the training class, the instructor mentioned that each bus was equipped with a governor to moderate the speed. Not being mechanically inclined, I had never heard of that kind of governor before, only the ones who had been elected, like Hollings, Russell, McNair, and West. But I came to learn that engines on school buses were, indeed, equipped with governors designed to keep the engine from going too fast.
Since then, I have come to realize that governments have the same effect on economies. They restrict businesses and individuals. Governments slow us down with their endless rules and regulations, and hold back the economy by taking too much money out of the pockets of taxpayers.
But, now, this spring, they’re giving your money back, so that your can spend it. Let me repeat: The government wants you to spend the money. (Help save America… spend money!!!)
I did some figuring a few days ago, and I estimated that approximately $50 million of this money will be coming back to taxpayers in our small community… right here, where we live and work!!! That amount of money, if spent with local merchants, professionals and other service-providers, could have an enormous impact on our community.
You can bet that the giant multi-national chains have already launched massive marketing plans timed to capture as much of that money as possible. And I don’t fault them for it. I’m sure that their investors will profit handsomely, before sending on a share of our economic stimulus funds to the manufacturers of their products in China and beyond.
There is no question that Wall Street and China will benefit nicely from this infusion of our cash. So be it. The world IS flat, I guess.
But… I want to do my part to make sure that OUR little corner of the world also does okay. I want our community’s economy to be stimulated along with Wall Street and China! And I am especially interested in rewarding those struggling, smaller businesses who, despite their own challenges, always help support our community.
When you’re making plans to spend your new money, PLEASE take a minute to think about the business you’re spending it with.
Do they help support our community by sponsoring youth sports teams, band-boosters, and cheerleader camps? Do they participate in the local chamber of commerce or other civic organizations? Do they help underwrite the high school year books and sports program books with their advertising dollars?
Or do they simply take from the consumers in this community, without giving anything back? Are they really a part of our local economy, with local owners and well-paid employees, or do they just make all the profit they can, and then wire our money off each week to a home office a thousand miles away?
For our part, of course, we always try to promote the local businesses who advertise in this newspaper. They make your local newspaper possible, which is evidence of their local-nature.
But during the next few weeks, we’re going to re-double our efforts to encourage you to “Shop Local” and support our community. Whether you’re using your extra check for a new car, new furniture, as part of a down-payment for a new house, to fix up your old house, or just pampering yourself with lots of smaller items or services, you should pay attention to make sure the company you’re spending with is a good-neighbor to our community.
Let’s stimulate OUR economy!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Losing Things.
The events depicted in the following column are based on true stories. The names have been changed to protect the increasingly old, decrepit and feeble-minded.
I have a friend – who shall remain nameless, but he’s in his mid-50’s and lives in this area – who has started losing things more and more frequently.
When you hear some of the things he loses, you’ll think he’s sort of pathetic… but trust me, he’s cool.
My friend has always lost things. Back when he was a youngster, he frequently “lost his homework”. More than once, he lost his library book, earning my friend a stern rebuke from the librarian, which, to this day, has left him scarred and wary of libraries… or at least, this is what I have heard from my friend.
Throughout the years, my friend seems to have regularly lost items of clothing. Most notably, I think is that he has lost a lot of sock. Not a lot of “socks”… but a lot of “sock”… singular. He never seemed to lose an entire pair of socks, only a single sock. During the span of his 54 years – or however old he is – I would guess that he has lost 50 or 100 sock.
A few years back, he lost his pants a couple of times. Now lest you think anything unsavory, put those thoughts aside. I can vouch for my friend, and there was nothing unsavory whatsoever involved. He just simply lost his pants. Twice. Simply disappeared. Like “presto”!
Similarly unexplained is the time he lost an entire suit. It was a fairly new brown suit. The presumed explanation is that my friend dropped it off at the dry cleaners, but then forgot which one. Still, when he visited every single dry cleaner in the vicinity of anyplace he had been during the previous month, my friend came up empty. The suit was gone.
These days, my friend has starting making a habit of losing small, useful items, like the ink-pens he uses each week to write his… to write his…. his weekly “reports”. Yeah, that’s it! His reports!
He also loses the remote control to the TV at least once a week, which always causes confusion, because he doesn’t know which of the buttons on the TV turns it on or changes the channels or the volume, except with the remote. And even if he did know which button to push, it wouldn’t help, because he also regularly loses his eye-glasses and contact lenses, and when he tries to operate the TV without them, he ends up watching very blurry Spanish subtitles. Loud!
Another small useful item he seems to lose a lot is his car keys. Mostly, he loses those on mornings when he’s running late to an appointment.
Lately, though, my friend has taken his “losing things” to a whole new level. Now he not only loses the car-keys, he also loses the CAR!
My friend, you see, does a lot of the grocery shopping, and usually visits the Kroger, Bi-Lo or Food Lion a few times a week. Frequently, the toughest part of his visit is the part after he pays for his groceries and heads out to the parking lot to his car. While most people walk straight to their car in a matter of 10 or 12 seconds, my friend sometimes wanders the parking lot for a few minutes trying to remember where he left his vehicle. Granted, he’s not entirely focused on the task at hand, because he’s probably talking on his cell phone 99-percent of the time before, during and after his shopping excursion. But he also faces another dilemma: my friend is NOT a car person, and to him, all the automobiles look alike. (He drives a rather obnoxious car, which should help, but it doesn’t.)
Once, my friend drove to Atlanta and parked his car at the airport parking lot. The Atlanta airport parking lot, it turns out, is massive. When he went back to find his car shortly after 10pm at night, it was snowing. Then the cars really DID all look alike. Finally, after midnight, in sub-freezing snowfall, he found the car. True story. I can vouch for my friend.
At least once, my friend lost a car for good. Fortunately, it was a clunker which my friend had bought in lieu of renting a car for two weeks while his real car was in the body shop. (My friend is not real fond of renting things.)
On this occasion, he drove the clunker to his hometown of Lexington – which is coincidentally my hometown as well, which is why I know this story so well – when the clunker suddenly clunked out. Rather than deal with the problem at the time, he called a friend for a ride and left the broken-down car in a parking lot, fully intending to pick up the car later in the day. A week later, he finally got around to it. He went to the parking lot where he thought he left it, then another parking lot, then another and another. He called the LPD, but they had no report on it. On the ride home, he visited another couple of parking lots… but then something came up, and he forgot about it. It was gone forever, not unlike his new brown suit.
Yes, my friend seems to have a habit of losing many things. But one thing he will not lose is his dignity, thanks to the magic of “changing the names to protect the increasingly old, decrepit and feeble-minded.”
I have a friend – who shall remain nameless, but he’s in his mid-50’s and lives in this area – who has started losing things more and more frequently.
When you hear some of the things he loses, you’ll think he’s sort of pathetic… but trust me, he’s cool.
My friend has always lost things. Back when he was a youngster, he frequently “lost his homework”. More than once, he lost his library book, earning my friend a stern rebuke from the librarian, which, to this day, has left him scarred and wary of libraries… or at least, this is what I have heard from my friend.
Throughout the years, my friend seems to have regularly lost items of clothing. Most notably, I think is that he has lost a lot of sock. Not a lot of “socks”… but a lot of “sock”… singular. He never seemed to lose an entire pair of socks, only a single sock. During the span of his 54 years – or however old he is – I would guess that he has lost 50 or 100 sock.
A few years back, he lost his pants a couple of times. Now lest you think anything unsavory, put those thoughts aside. I can vouch for my friend, and there was nothing unsavory whatsoever involved. He just simply lost his pants. Twice. Simply disappeared. Like “presto”!
Similarly unexplained is the time he lost an entire suit. It was a fairly new brown suit. The presumed explanation is that my friend dropped it off at the dry cleaners, but then forgot which one. Still, when he visited every single dry cleaner in the vicinity of anyplace he had been during the previous month, my friend came up empty. The suit was gone.
These days, my friend has starting making a habit of losing small, useful items, like the ink-pens he uses each week to write his… to write his…. his weekly “reports”. Yeah, that’s it! His reports!
He also loses the remote control to the TV at least once a week, which always causes confusion, because he doesn’t know which of the buttons on the TV turns it on or changes the channels or the volume, except with the remote. And even if he did know which button to push, it wouldn’t help, because he also regularly loses his eye-glasses and contact lenses, and when he tries to operate the TV without them, he ends up watching very blurry Spanish subtitles. Loud!
Another small useful item he seems to lose a lot is his car keys. Mostly, he loses those on mornings when he’s running late to an appointment.
Lately, though, my friend has taken his “losing things” to a whole new level. Now he not only loses the car-keys, he also loses the CAR!
My friend, you see, does a lot of the grocery shopping, and usually visits the Kroger, Bi-Lo or Food Lion a few times a week. Frequently, the toughest part of his visit is the part after he pays for his groceries and heads out to the parking lot to his car. While most people walk straight to their car in a matter of 10 or 12 seconds, my friend sometimes wanders the parking lot for a few minutes trying to remember where he left his vehicle. Granted, he’s not entirely focused on the task at hand, because he’s probably talking on his cell phone 99-percent of the time before, during and after his shopping excursion. But he also faces another dilemma: my friend is NOT a car person, and to him, all the automobiles look alike. (He drives a rather obnoxious car, which should help, but it doesn’t.)
Once, my friend drove to Atlanta and parked his car at the airport parking lot. The Atlanta airport parking lot, it turns out, is massive. When he went back to find his car shortly after 10pm at night, it was snowing. Then the cars really DID all look alike. Finally, after midnight, in sub-freezing snowfall, he found the car. True story. I can vouch for my friend.
At least once, my friend lost a car for good. Fortunately, it was a clunker which my friend had bought in lieu of renting a car for two weeks while his real car was in the body shop. (My friend is not real fond of renting things.)
On this occasion, he drove the clunker to his hometown of Lexington – which is coincidentally my hometown as well, which is why I know this story so well – when the clunker suddenly clunked out. Rather than deal with the problem at the time, he called a friend for a ride and left the broken-down car in a parking lot, fully intending to pick up the car later in the day. A week later, he finally got around to it. He went to the parking lot where he thought he left it, then another parking lot, then another and another. He called the LPD, but they had no report on it. On the ride home, he visited another couple of parking lots… but then something came up, and he forgot about it. It was gone forever, not unlike his new brown suit.
Yes, my friend seems to have a habit of losing many things. But one thing he will not lose is his dignity, thanks to the magic of “changing the names to protect the increasingly old, decrepit and feeble-minded.”
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Announcements for March
Your attention, please. I have a few announcements before we get into March.
First, I’d like to remind everyone to spring forward. Set your clocks forward ONE HOUR this weekend.
(That way, you’ll already be used to it when everybody else does it NEXT weekend!)
Did you see the recent lunar eclipse? I did. It was cool. In case you missed it, last week we had a total eclipse of the moon! It’s a very rare occurrence… the next one is expected to occur on the night of Dec. 21, 2010.
Also, last week, I observed an occurrence which is not quite so rare: a total eclipse of the brain. The next one is expected to occur…. probably, sometime this week. Maybe even today. Possibly even before I finish writing this….
Now, where was I?
More about March.
Spring officially starts on March 20th, on a day which has become known as the Vernal Equinox, a holiday tribute to the star of film and TV commercials, “Vern”.
Vern, you may know, is his last name. His first name is “Hey”.
It is fitting that we offer a holiday to a man who has meant so much to so many, to go along with the spate of tribute holidays we observe during the first few months of each year: George Washington, Martin Luther King, Abe Lincoln, Robert E. Lee, “Hey, Vern!” and, of course, Millard Fillmore.
St. Paddy’s Day. Wear Green. Nuff said.
March Madness is coming during this month. Actually, there will be two kinds of March Madness: the more popular version which consists of numerous college basketball tournaments, which ends with the Final Four and the eventual National Champion; and the less well-known version, which consists of most of the state’s politicians officially filing as candidates for office between March 16th and March 30th at noon.
It’s a little known fact that most elected offices in the state end up being decided without an election on March 30th every two years when no one steps forward to challenge the incumbent office-holder. (This is what’s known in political jargon as getting a “free ride”.)
This year, every state congressman, every state senator, every state legislator, and approximately half of all the county councilmen and other county officials will be watching the clock at noon on March 30th to find out who, if anyone, will be their opponent in this election year.
Incidentally, if you happen to bump into one of these incumbent officeholders during the late days of March, and they seem a little on edge, you’ll know why. Also, if you happen to need a favor from any of them, March is a REAL good time to ask. They’re all hoping for that free ride, and the last thing they want to do during March is make anybody mad at ‘em!!!
This year, for Easter, in addition to observing the Reason for the Season, we’ll also be recognizing the Easter Bunny – the second rodent in as many months to be the central figure of an American Holiday.
Unlike his sleepy-headed cousin from February, however, the Rabbit actually does something to deserve the honor: The Easter Bunny is the ONLY mammal in the world known to lay brightly colored eggs, and one of only two mammals, along with the Australian duckbilled platypus to lay eggs at all.
Someday, I hope to go the Australia. It seems like a really strange place.
Okay, back to March. Did you know that Daylight Savings Time now starts earlier than it used to. Previously, it was always in April. But, two years ago, Congress passed a law launching DST in March instead of April. (you might say they sprang the “Spring Forward” forward.) While it seems like a simple calendar trick, deep down I know it will end up costing us something. After all, Congress did it!
If you don’t LIKE the longer DST period, run for Congress! (Filing deadline is this month.) Or, just sleep late.
Just a few more March announcements…
Your shoe’s untied!!!
There’s a bug on your shoulder!!!
Your zipper’s open!!!
I’m trying to lose weight by combining diet AND exercise!!!
(I’ve decided to also celebrate April Fools Day a month early!)
Enjoy Leap Day, and the entire month of March, and also, don’t forget to….. don’t forget to…. don’t forget to….
How about that? Another eclipse!
--------------------------
You’re always welcome to let me know you agree, disagree, can’t make sense of, or simply don’t care about anything I’ve written here… or about any other topic that happens to be on your mind. You can email me directly at: RodShealy@aol.com.
And, if reading it once just wasn’t enough for you, read it again online – along with previous columns -- at my modern-technology Electronic Internet blog: www.doingthefirst.blogspot.com
First, I’d like to remind everyone to spring forward. Set your clocks forward ONE HOUR this weekend.
(That way, you’ll already be used to it when everybody else does it NEXT weekend!)
Did you see the recent lunar eclipse? I did. It was cool. In case you missed it, last week we had a total eclipse of the moon! It’s a very rare occurrence… the next one is expected to occur on the night of Dec. 21, 2010.
Also, last week, I observed an occurrence which is not quite so rare: a total eclipse of the brain. The next one is expected to occur…. probably, sometime this week. Maybe even today. Possibly even before I finish writing this….
Now, where was I?
More about March.
Spring officially starts on March 20th, on a day which has become known as the Vernal Equinox, a holiday tribute to the star of film and TV commercials, “Vern”.
Vern, you may know, is his last name. His first name is “Hey”.
It is fitting that we offer a holiday to a man who has meant so much to so many, to go along with the spate of tribute holidays we observe during the first few months of each year: George Washington, Martin Luther King, Abe Lincoln, Robert E. Lee, “Hey, Vern!” and, of course, Millard Fillmore.
St. Paddy’s Day. Wear Green. Nuff said.
March Madness is coming during this month. Actually, there will be two kinds of March Madness: the more popular version which consists of numerous college basketball tournaments, which ends with the Final Four and the eventual National Champion; and the less well-known version, which consists of most of the state’s politicians officially filing as candidates for office between March 16th and March 30th at noon.
It’s a little known fact that most elected offices in the state end up being decided without an election on March 30th every two years when no one steps forward to challenge the incumbent office-holder. (This is what’s known in political jargon as getting a “free ride”.)
This year, every state congressman, every state senator, every state legislator, and approximately half of all the county councilmen and other county officials will be watching the clock at noon on March 30th to find out who, if anyone, will be their opponent in this election year.
Incidentally, if you happen to bump into one of these incumbent officeholders during the late days of March, and they seem a little on edge, you’ll know why. Also, if you happen to need a favor from any of them, March is a REAL good time to ask. They’re all hoping for that free ride, and the last thing they want to do during March is make anybody mad at ‘em!!!
This year, for Easter, in addition to observing the Reason for the Season, we’ll also be recognizing the Easter Bunny – the second rodent in as many months to be the central figure of an American Holiday.
Unlike his sleepy-headed cousin from February, however, the Rabbit actually does something to deserve the honor: The Easter Bunny is the ONLY mammal in the world known to lay brightly colored eggs, and one of only two mammals, along with the Australian duckbilled platypus to lay eggs at all.
Someday, I hope to go the Australia. It seems like a really strange place.
Okay, back to March. Did you know that Daylight Savings Time now starts earlier than it used to. Previously, it was always in April. But, two years ago, Congress passed a law launching DST in March instead of April. (you might say they sprang the “Spring Forward” forward.) While it seems like a simple calendar trick, deep down I know it will end up costing us something. After all, Congress did it!
If you don’t LIKE the longer DST period, run for Congress! (Filing deadline is this month.) Or, just sleep late.
Just a few more March announcements…
Your shoe’s untied!!!
There’s a bug on your shoulder!!!
Your zipper’s open!!!
I’m trying to lose weight by combining diet AND exercise!!!
(I’ve decided to also celebrate April Fools Day a month early!)
Enjoy Leap Day, and the entire month of March, and also, don’t forget to….. don’t forget to…. don’t forget to….
How about that? Another eclipse!
--------------------------
You’re always welcome to let me know you agree, disagree, can’t make sense of, or simply don’t care about anything I’ve written here… or about any other topic that happens to be on your mind. You can email me directly at: RodShealy@aol.com.
And, if reading it once just wasn’t enough for you, read it again online – along with previous columns -- at my modern-technology Electronic Internet blog: www.doingthefirst.blogspot.com
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Leap for Joy and Happy Birthday!
Every four years, we have a February 29th.
Along with the Presidential Elections and the Summer Olympics, it’s a quadrennial occurrence.
It’s called Leap Day, because it only happens in a Leap Year. (I happen to think that’s a very unoriginal and uninspiring name for such a rare occurrence. By the end of this column, I’ll probably be able to suggest a neater, tidier name.)
The mathematical formula, in case you’re interested, is this: Presidential Elections, Summer Olympics, and Leap Years all occur in year numbers which are evenly divisible by four (4). For example, years like 2000, 2004, and 2008. Also, 1996, 1992, 1988, and 1984. And 1980. Also, 1932, 1880, and 1776. But not the year 1440, because the Gregorian Calendar had not yet been invented. For that matter, neither had Presidential Elections.
My most significant observation regarding Leap Day (or Least Day, as I’m leaning toward naming it) is that those persons who happened to have been born on that date only have real birthdays every four years. And that’s a shame.
Birthdays are great. Birthdays are every individual’s one special day of the year where they get to feel special and celebrate themselves, if only in their minds. Your very own personalized special day, every year… unless you were born on Cheap Day, as I’m now toying with calling it.
Statistically speaking, only one in every 1461 people should expect to be born on Sleep Day, which is my latest thought on a fitting name for the occasion. (In reality, I doubt if any of them expected to be born, period. Usually, the whole thing is a big surprise to the newborn. But I ramble.)
Here’s the point: these people, born on this yet-to-be adequately named day which occurs only once every four years, constitute perhaps our smallest, most discriminated-against minority. It’s time to take a stand for them!
How would you feel if you were the only kid in your third grade class who never had their birthday celebrated? How would you feel if, at some tender young age, Mom and Dad had to take you aside and feed you some malarkey about “borrowing” someone else’s birthday? How would you feel if you were turning 50, but had only ever had twelve real birthdays in your life?
There is an entire opera, Pirates of Penzance, written around this premise – a youngster apprenticed to the pirates until his 21st birthday, who when preparing to strike out on his own, learns that his masters intend to exercise a loophole and keep him until he’s, like, 84, all because he was born on Bleep Day.
There’s just no justice.
Here’s my plan to help balance the scales. I think, these Feb. 29th babies should be allowed to celebrate an entire week on those rare occasions when it does roll around.
And, of course, the rest of us should celebrate along with them! How does a week off at the end of February every four years sound?
This year, I’d like to lead the way in wishing Happy Birthday to this smallest of minorities.
Enjoy the day, or the week, or the entire month if you want to. Celebrate. Have a party. Invite the whole gang, and have a blast. (No adult beverages, however, until your 21st birthday!)
Happy Birthday, and Happy Leap Day… or, as I think I’ll start referring to it, “February 29th!”
Along with the Presidential Elections and the Summer Olympics, it’s a quadrennial occurrence.
It’s called Leap Day, because it only happens in a Leap Year. (I happen to think that’s a very unoriginal and uninspiring name for such a rare occurrence. By the end of this column, I’ll probably be able to suggest a neater, tidier name.)
The mathematical formula, in case you’re interested, is this: Presidential Elections, Summer Olympics, and Leap Years all occur in year numbers which are evenly divisible by four (4). For example, years like 2000, 2004, and 2008. Also, 1996, 1992, 1988, and 1984. And 1980. Also, 1932, 1880, and 1776. But not the year 1440, because the Gregorian Calendar had not yet been invented. For that matter, neither had Presidential Elections.
My most significant observation regarding Leap Day (or Least Day, as I’m leaning toward naming it) is that those persons who happened to have been born on that date only have real birthdays every four years. And that’s a shame.
Birthdays are great. Birthdays are every individual’s one special day of the year where they get to feel special and celebrate themselves, if only in their minds. Your very own personalized special day, every year… unless you were born on Cheap Day, as I’m now toying with calling it.
Statistically speaking, only one in every 1461 people should expect to be born on Sleep Day, which is my latest thought on a fitting name for the occasion. (In reality, I doubt if any of them expected to be born, period. Usually, the whole thing is a big surprise to the newborn. But I ramble.)
Here’s the point: these people, born on this yet-to-be adequately named day which occurs only once every four years, constitute perhaps our smallest, most discriminated-against minority. It’s time to take a stand for them!
How would you feel if you were the only kid in your third grade class who never had their birthday celebrated? How would you feel if, at some tender young age, Mom and Dad had to take you aside and feed you some malarkey about “borrowing” someone else’s birthday? How would you feel if you were turning 50, but had only ever had twelve real birthdays in your life?
There is an entire opera, Pirates of Penzance, written around this premise – a youngster apprenticed to the pirates until his 21st birthday, who when preparing to strike out on his own, learns that his masters intend to exercise a loophole and keep him until he’s, like, 84, all because he was born on Bleep Day.
There’s just no justice.
Here’s my plan to help balance the scales. I think, these Feb. 29th babies should be allowed to celebrate an entire week on those rare occasions when it does roll around.
And, of course, the rest of us should celebrate along with them! How does a week off at the end of February every four years sound?
This year, I’d like to lead the way in wishing Happy Birthday to this smallest of minorities.
Enjoy the day, or the week, or the entire month if you want to. Celebrate. Have a party. Invite the whole gang, and have a blast. (No adult beverages, however, until your 21st birthday!)
Happy Birthday, and Happy Leap Day… or, as I think I’ll start referring to it, “February 29th!”
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
1968... as I recall it.
Raise your hands if YOU remember 1968.
If you raised your hand, you’re showing you age. It means you’re probably a baby boomer like me, or even maybe a little older.
I remember 1968. Sort of. I was in my early teens, so I was at an age when I wasn’t really absorbing anything much.
We’ll hear a lot about 1968 this year, as it marks the 40th anniversary of a number of events that shaped history. Probably the most vividly recalled dates were the assassinations of Dr. Martin Luther King and Senator Robert Kennedy. That was also the year LBJ announced he would not run for president, and Tricky Dick Nixon announced he would. After a Democratic Convention marred by violent clashes between protesters and the Chicago police, Hubert Humphrey faced Nixon and American Independent candidate George Wallace. The year opened with the Tet offensive of the Vietnam War, and closed with three American astronauts orbiting the Moon for the first time ever. There were hippies and yippies and protests and sit-ins and even the first bra-burnings. The times, they were a-changing.
These are the things I sort of remember from the news of the year. But the things I most recall from 40 years ago weren’t in the newspapers.
I was in the eighth grade. That was the year the eighth grade at Lexington moved into a brand new building at the high school. We were above junior high school, but not quite in high school. We were in the twilight zone. By the time the year was over, I would actually BE in high school. It was a year of transition. The times, they were a-changing.
It was the last year I would be riding my trusty bicycle. To a twelve or thirteen or fourteen year boy, your bicycle is your most trusted companion… not unlike Silver to the Lone Ranger. But, I was counting down the days until I could get my learner’s permit, and then my restricted license… and then I would be able to DRIVE until sundown every day. Yes, the times were definitely a-changing.
A few years earlier, The Beatles had exploded onto the scene, and ushered in a new era of music and pop culture, what with their long hair and all. But all of a sudden – I must have slept through a few years – because in 1968 the Fab Four from Liverpool were off in the Far East meditating with Maharishi Yogi, and their music completely changed. They went from “She loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!” – which I understood -- to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “Revolution 9”, which I didn’t have a clue about. And their famous mop-tops had turned really long and shaggy. All of which I blamed on this Yogi fellow, who I didn’t know. (I did, however, know two other Yogi’s… Berra of the Yankees, and Bear of Jellystone Park!)
And it wasn’t just The Beatles. The other music started changing, too. So did the movies and TV shows.
TV couldn’t get any better than it was at the beginning of 1968. The Beverly Hillbillies. Green Acres. Gomer Pyle. Bonanza. Andy Griffith. Bewitched. Petticoat Junction. Lucy, Red Skelton, and Jackie Gleason. And, of course, every Sunday night… Walt Disney!
But, by the end of the year, the networks had started fixing something that wasn’t broken. Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In was funny, but it was different. And, most of the time, I really didn’t understand what I was laughing at. Andy had become Mayberry RFD. Batman and The Man from U.N.C.L.E. went away, both of which were tragedies in the eyes of a fourteen year old. And 60 Minutes took over Sunday nights. YUCK!
I was accustomed to going to the Drive-In to see movies like Tarzan and 007… with maybe an occasional Elvis or John Wayne flick thrown in. All of a sudden, I was confronted with The Graduate, In the Heat of the Night, and Cool Hand Luke… movies which I didn’t understand.
The times, they were a-changing.
I really don’t know if the whole world was a-changing a lot in 1968, or whether it was just my world a-changing. But, forty years ago, things were suddenly very different.
Now, here it is, four decades later. And, of course, I now know change is inevitable. It’s a part of life. The world turns, and times are different.
But, somehow, to me, I’m suddenly feeling a lot like it’s 1968 again. The times, they are a-changing.
If you raised your hand, you’re showing you age. It means you’re probably a baby boomer like me, or even maybe a little older.
I remember 1968. Sort of. I was in my early teens, so I was at an age when I wasn’t really absorbing anything much.
We’ll hear a lot about 1968 this year, as it marks the 40th anniversary of a number of events that shaped history. Probably the most vividly recalled dates were the assassinations of Dr. Martin Luther King and Senator Robert Kennedy. That was also the year LBJ announced he would not run for president, and Tricky Dick Nixon announced he would. After a Democratic Convention marred by violent clashes between protesters and the Chicago police, Hubert Humphrey faced Nixon and American Independent candidate George Wallace. The year opened with the Tet offensive of the Vietnam War, and closed with three American astronauts orbiting the Moon for the first time ever. There were hippies and yippies and protests and sit-ins and even the first bra-burnings. The times, they were a-changing.
These are the things I sort of remember from the news of the year. But the things I most recall from 40 years ago weren’t in the newspapers.
I was in the eighth grade. That was the year the eighth grade at Lexington moved into a brand new building at the high school. We were above junior high school, but not quite in high school. We were in the twilight zone. By the time the year was over, I would actually BE in high school. It was a year of transition. The times, they were a-changing.
It was the last year I would be riding my trusty bicycle. To a twelve or thirteen or fourteen year boy, your bicycle is your most trusted companion… not unlike Silver to the Lone Ranger. But, I was counting down the days until I could get my learner’s permit, and then my restricted license… and then I would be able to DRIVE until sundown every day. Yes, the times were definitely a-changing.
A few years earlier, The Beatles had exploded onto the scene, and ushered in a new era of music and pop culture, what with their long hair and all. But all of a sudden – I must have slept through a few years – because in 1968 the Fab Four from Liverpool were off in the Far East meditating with Maharishi Yogi, and their music completely changed. They went from “She loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!” – which I understood -- to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “Revolution 9”, which I didn’t have a clue about. And their famous mop-tops had turned really long and shaggy. All of which I blamed on this Yogi fellow, who I didn’t know. (I did, however, know two other Yogi’s… Berra of the Yankees, and Bear of Jellystone Park!)
And it wasn’t just The Beatles. The other music started changing, too. So did the movies and TV shows.
TV couldn’t get any better than it was at the beginning of 1968. The Beverly Hillbillies. Green Acres. Gomer Pyle. Bonanza. Andy Griffith. Bewitched. Petticoat Junction. Lucy, Red Skelton, and Jackie Gleason. And, of course, every Sunday night… Walt Disney!
But, by the end of the year, the networks had started fixing something that wasn’t broken. Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In was funny, but it was different. And, most of the time, I really didn’t understand what I was laughing at. Andy had become Mayberry RFD. Batman and The Man from U.N.C.L.E. went away, both of which were tragedies in the eyes of a fourteen year old. And 60 Minutes took over Sunday nights. YUCK!
I was accustomed to going to the Drive-In to see movies like Tarzan and 007… with maybe an occasional Elvis or John Wayne flick thrown in. All of a sudden, I was confronted with The Graduate, In the Heat of the Night, and Cool Hand Luke… movies which I didn’t understand.
The times, they were a-changing.
I really don’t know if the whole world was a-changing a lot in 1968, or whether it was just my world a-changing. But, forty years ago, things were suddenly very different.
Now, here it is, four decades later. And, of course, I now know change is inevitable. It’s a part of life. The world turns, and times are different.
But, somehow, to me, I’m suddenly feeling a lot like it’s 1968 again. The times, they are a-changing.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
You're Swell, Be Mine
I remember when Valentine’s Day had a whole different meaning for me than it does now.
Nowadays, for attached males like myself, Feb. 14th represents just one more gift-giving opportunity to find myself in The Doghouse for making a bad decision, along with The Anniversary Gift, The Birthday Gift, and The Christmas Gift.
The worst decision for any of these Gift Giving Occasions is, of course, no decision at all, for which one may find himself in The Doghouse for quite a long period of time. I speak from experience.
I am also quite experienced in the fine art of choosing the Wrong Gift. (Space does not allow me to give you the list… you’ll have to wait for the book.)
Back in grammar school, Valentines Day was a lot less pressure for me. We traded Valentines with the other members of our class. Sometime, we even traded candy hearts with mushy messages like “You’re the One”, “Be Mine”, or “A Friend Indeed”.
I always took candy hearts for the class, or some other bargain Mom found for me at Cromer’s Peanuts… occasionally even one of their little novelty toys, which made me feel like Mr. Big of the Third Grade. I was oblivious to the fact that the trinkets only cost a few cents each when you buy them in bulk. It was a TOY – like a yo-yo, a whistle, or a plastic spider – and I gave one to each of my classmates!!! Valentine’s Day was great.
It was also at Valentine’s Day that Mom first taught my siblings and me one of the lessons that would shape us for years to come: “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
During our annual ritual of addressing our Valentines to our classmates, Mom checked to make sure we had included each classmate, and found that we hadn’t. Turns out, even in the second grade, we pick favorites, and ignore those who we deem less popular.
That’s when my Mom first suggested to us that we ought to be considerate of the feelings of ALL our classmates… even those who might be less popular. Some of them, she told us, might not get ANY Valentines, which would be a shame. It was a something we had never thought of before, like most other kids of tender years.
She illustrated her point by telling of her own experience from her childhood. Coming from a rural family of meager means, there was no money to buy Valentine Cards to exchange, as the “town children” did. So she made her own Valentines by hand. Then she chose the prettiest one – the very best of all -- to give to the most popular girl in her class… only to be heartbroken when the girl immediately tore it up and threw it away.
Mom told us that story, and we got the point. From that day on, we all understood that it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. We learned to always try to think about the feelings of others.
That year, the less popular classmate who had originally been left off of the Valentine Card list… well, she actually got TWO Valentines addressed to her, just to make sure she didn’t feel left out.
Every February, three important lessons come to mind as I recall the story Mom told us:
First, little things can make a big difference. A thoughtless slight by a school-child three-quarters of a century ago is still recalled generations later.
Second, parents instill values in their children. For better or worse, children learn what they live.
And third, be nice to people. We forget that sometimes, even here in the South where we actually enjoy being nice.
I don’t know if they still exchange Valentines in schools these days. I sort of doubt they do, the way things have changed. But if they do, it might be a good opportunity for you to instill some of those core values of friendship and caring into a future generation or two.
And, just in case nobody else gives YOU a Valentine Card this year…
“You’re Swell!”
Nowadays, for attached males like myself, Feb. 14th represents just one more gift-giving opportunity to find myself in The Doghouse for making a bad decision, along with The Anniversary Gift, The Birthday Gift, and The Christmas Gift.
The worst decision for any of these Gift Giving Occasions is, of course, no decision at all, for which one may find himself in The Doghouse for quite a long period of time. I speak from experience.
I am also quite experienced in the fine art of choosing the Wrong Gift. (Space does not allow me to give you the list… you’ll have to wait for the book.)
Back in grammar school, Valentines Day was a lot less pressure for me. We traded Valentines with the other members of our class. Sometime, we even traded candy hearts with mushy messages like “You’re the One”, “Be Mine”, or “A Friend Indeed”.
I always took candy hearts for the class, or some other bargain Mom found for me at Cromer’s Peanuts… occasionally even one of their little novelty toys, which made me feel like Mr. Big of the Third Grade. I was oblivious to the fact that the trinkets only cost a few cents each when you buy them in bulk. It was a TOY – like a yo-yo, a whistle, or a plastic spider – and I gave one to each of my classmates!!! Valentine’s Day was great.
It was also at Valentine’s Day that Mom first taught my siblings and me one of the lessons that would shape us for years to come: “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
During our annual ritual of addressing our Valentines to our classmates, Mom checked to make sure we had included each classmate, and found that we hadn’t. Turns out, even in the second grade, we pick favorites, and ignore those who we deem less popular.
That’s when my Mom first suggested to us that we ought to be considerate of the feelings of ALL our classmates… even those who might be less popular. Some of them, she told us, might not get ANY Valentines, which would be a shame. It was a something we had never thought of before, like most other kids of tender years.
She illustrated her point by telling of her own experience from her childhood. Coming from a rural family of meager means, there was no money to buy Valentine Cards to exchange, as the “town children” did. So she made her own Valentines by hand. Then she chose the prettiest one – the very best of all -- to give to the most popular girl in her class… only to be heartbroken when the girl immediately tore it up and threw it away.
Mom told us that story, and we got the point. From that day on, we all understood that it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. We learned to always try to think about the feelings of others.
That year, the less popular classmate who had originally been left off of the Valentine Card list… well, she actually got TWO Valentines addressed to her, just to make sure she didn’t feel left out.
Every February, three important lessons come to mind as I recall the story Mom told us:
First, little things can make a big difference. A thoughtless slight by a school-child three-quarters of a century ago is still recalled generations later.
Second, parents instill values in their children. For better or worse, children learn what they live.
And third, be nice to people. We forget that sometimes, even here in the South where we actually enjoy being nice.
I don’t know if they still exchange Valentines in schools these days. I sort of doubt they do, the way things have changed. But if they do, it might be a good opportunity for you to instill some of those core values of friendship and caring into a future generation or two.
And, just in case nobody else gives YOU a Valentine Card this year…
“You’re Swell!”
Monday, January 28, 2008
Three Big Days in February!
February is here!!! It’s everybody’s favorite month of the year, of all the months with fewer than 30 days.
Most females love February because of Valentines Day. Guys, I think just sort of get roped into it.
Government employees like February because of that extra holiday – Presidents Day – a day invented by merging the real birthdays of George Washington and Abe Lincoln into a fictitious annual joint birthday, which curiously always falls on a Monday, extending the celebration into a holiday weekend, and no doubt boosting our economy with Presidents Day sales and holiday travel. Long after their demise, two of our most important presidents – Washington and Lincoln—are sacrificing their individual birthdays to boost our national economy. Great Americans, both. (As the brilliant minds in Congress are currently debating how to stimulate our sagging economy, let me put in my recommendation for a few extra holiday weekends. Government can take a day off, which is always good news. And those employees would take some of their tax-funded salaries they’ve been pocketing, and use them to go shopping or traveling. It’s genius!)
This year is a particularly special February. First of all, we get that extra day, which only occurs every four years. All those people who were born on February 29th have an actual birthday… which is a rarity. Most years, our smallest minority – statistically one in every 1,461 people – don’t have a birthday! For example, any of those Feb. 29th guys who happen to turn 40 this year will get to celebrate only their 10th birthday!
In addition to being a leap year, we have Three Big Days approaching early in the month, each of which may carry a very special significance. Two of the days are so big, we’ve actually named them Super Days: First the Big “Super Bowl” Full-Contact Professional Football Game; and second, the Big “Super Tuesday” Full-Contact Presidential Primary Election Day.
On these two days, separated by only a well-placed catch-our-breath Monday, the nation will participate in some of the most important decisions of the year – not necessarily in order of importance -- a) The 2008 NFL Champs; b) The Next President of the United States and Leader of the Free World; and, c) Which is the Best Super-Bowl TV Ad, which, this year will cost a cool $2.7million for a 30 second spot.
Super Bowl and Super Tuesday are Super-Special this year.
The New England Patriots are undefeated and can set a new record and a new standard of perfection with a victory… AND, in the process, crown quarterback Tom Brady as the new All-American, clean-cut, good-guy hero for the national news media to eventually strip of his luster and crush like a bug in the dirt.
Super Tuesday may well be the most important single election day in modern history. For the first time since Eisenhower in the 1950’s, there is no incumbent President or Vice-President seeking the office, so it’s a truly open election. And, for the first time, there is a real likelihood that either a female or an African-American will secure a major party’s nomination and may become President. On Super Tuesday, 22 states will hold contests to help choose the first new American president in the post-9/11 era. It’s a big day. The only thing I can think of which could make it more exciting would be if an incumbent Vice President HAD decided to seek the office. (I’d love to see Cheney in the middle of this. To help keep the campaigns civil, he could volunteer to take ’em all hunting!)
Super Bowl Sunday and Super Tuesday will be big, fun, exciting days… if we ever get to them. First, though, we have to make it past the biggest annual blow-out of them all: Ground Hog Day!
As I’ve cautioned you before: always be sure to wear comfortable clothes on Ground Hog Day, just in case the movie comes true. I’m planning on going even further this year. I’m going to spend Feb. 2nd doing everything I can think of that I like doing, just in case I get stuck living that day over and over and over. That would mean, of course, that I’d never actually get to see the Super Bowl or Super Tuesday… but at least I’d be frozen in time doing the things I like to do… starting with a big breakfast -- waffles, syrup, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, etc. for breakfast – after sleeping really, really late, then taking a shower so long the hot water runs out, then dressing in my most comfortable clothes (really old clothes that happen to have a few holes in them… but they’re real comfortable). Just in case.
Since the Super Bowl and Super Tuesday are so Super-Special this year, this could also be the year Ground Hog Day actually gets stuck on re-runs!
--------------------------
You’re always welcome to let me know you agree, disagree, can’t make sense of, or simply don’t care about anything I’ve written here… or about any other topic that happens to be on your mind. You can email me directly at: RodShealy@aol.com.
Most females love February because of Valentines Day. Guys, I think just sort of get roped into it.
Government employees like February because of that extra holiday – Presidents Day – a day invented by merging the real birthdays of George Washington and Abe Lincoln into a fictitious annual joint birthday, which curiously always falls on a Monday, extending the celebration into a holiday weekend, and no doubt boosting our economy with Presidents Day sales and holiday travel. Long after their demise, two of our most important presidents – Washington and Lincoln—are sacrificing their individual birthdays to boost our national economy. Great Americans, both. (As the brilliant minds in Congress are currently debating how to stimulate our sagging economy, let me put in my recommendation for a few extra holiday weekends. Government can take a day off, which is always good news. And those employees would take some of their tax-funded salaries they’ve been pocketing, and use them to go shopping or traveling. It’s genius!)
This year is a particularly special February. First of all, we get that extra day, which only occurs every four years. All those people who were born on February 29th have an actual birthday… which is a rarity. Most years, our smallest minority – statistically one in every 1,461 people – don’t have a birthday! For example, any of those Feb. 29th guys who happen to turn 40 this year will get to celebrate only their 10th birthday!
In addition to being a leap year, we have Three Big Days approaching early in the month, each of which may carry a very special significance. Two of the days are so big, we’ve actually named them Super Days: First the Big “Super Bowl” Full-Contact Professional Football Game; and second, the Big “Super Tuesday” Full-Contact Presidential Primary Election Day.
On these two days, separated by only a well-placed catch-our-breath Monday, the nation will participate in some of the most important decisions of the year – not necessarily in order of importance -- a) The 2008 NFL Champs; b) The Next President of the United States and Leader of the Free World; and, c) Which is the Best Super-Bowl TV Ad, which, this year will cost a cool $2.7million for a 30 second spot.
Super Bowl and Super Tuesday are Super-Special this year.
The New England Patriots are undefeated and can set a new record and a new standard of perfection with a victory… AND, in the process, crown quarterback Tom Brady as the new All-American, clean-cut, good-guy hero for the national news media to eventually strip of his luster and crush like a bug in the dirt.
Super Tuesday may well be the most important single election day in modern history. For the first time since Eisenhower in the 1950’s, there is no incumbent President or Vice-President seeking the office, so it’s a truly open election. And, for the first time, there is a real likelihood that either a female or an African-American will secure a major party’s nomination and may become President. On Super Tuesday, 22 states will hold contests to help choose the first new American president in the post-9/11 era. It’s a big day. The only thing I can think of which could make it more exciting would be if an incumbent Vice President HAD decided to seek the office. (I’d love to see Cheney in the middle of this. To help keep the campaigns civil, he could volunteer to take ’em all hunting!)
Super Bowl Sunday and Super Tuesday will be big, fun, exciting days… if we ever get to them. First, though, we have to make it past the biggest annual blow-out of them all: Ground Hog Day!
As I’ve cautioned you before: always be sure to wear comfortable clothes on Ground Hog Day, just in case the movie comes true. I’m planning on going even further this year. I’m going to spend Feb. 2nd doing everything I can think of that I like doing, just in case I get stuck living that day over and over and over. That would mean, of course, that I’d never actually get to see the Super Bowl or Super Tuesday… but at least I’d be frozen in time doing the things I like to do… starting with a big breakfast -- waffles, syrup, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, etc. for breakfast – after sleeping really, really late, then taking a shower so long the hot water runs out, then dressing in my most comfortable clothes (really old clothes that happen to have a few holes in them… but they’re real comfortable). Just in case.
Since the Super Bowl and Super Tuesday are so Super-Special this year, this could also be the year Ground Hog Day actually gets stuck on re-runs!
Three big days in less than a week. February 2nd, 3rd, and 5th.
No wonder it’s everybody’s favorite short month.
--------------------------
You’re always welcome to let me know you agree, disagree, can’t make sense of, or simply don’t care about anything I’ve written here… or about any other topic that happens to be on your mind. You can email me directly at: RodShealy@aol.com.
And, if reading it once just wasn’t enough for you, read it again online – along with previous columns -- at my modern-technology Electronic Internet blog: www.doingthefirst.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Table of Contents
It was just about a year ago that I announced one of my 2007 New Year’s Resolutions to write a column every week. Seeing as how I’m the Publisher and all, and we’re pumping out five different weekly community newspapers – that’s roughly 50,000 papers each week -- I figured that I really ought to buckle down and offer our readers the benefit of my vast storehouse of wisdom each week.
Well, I made it a whole, entire year… writing a column every single week -- although, after the first month or so, it became apparent that my vast storehouse was more like a tiny little closet – perhaps even the bottom shelf in the closet… and the “wisdom” was actually more the like the mindless, frequently unintelligible babbling of someone who probably played too much football without a helmet.
Also, I didn’t actually write a totally new column every week. There were a couple of weeks when I dusted off and freshened up articles I had written 10 or 15 years earlier… plus one or two weeks when, 15 minutes before deadline, I basically grabbed anything I could find from the Internet, changed a few words, and called it a column.
But the point is, I succeeded in occupying this space every week for a whole, entire, total, complete, full year, which is quite an accomplishment, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness. Mission accomplished… which is quite an accomplishment, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness. I did it!!! A whole year!!! … which is quite an accomplishment, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness.
So I’ve decided to keep going.
I’m gonna keep writing a column every week… so I’m giving you fair warning.
And this year, there’s a chance I will actually IMPROVE my writing skills and produce articles, which frankly, aren’t such a gigantic waste of your time. (There’s also a chance Florida will fall into the ocean this year.) There’s always a chance, but I wouldn’t bet on it. As a matter of fact, I’m 99% sure it won’t happen. I’m almost positive I’ll keep pumping out the same menu of mostly useless prattle that I’ve been key-punching out for the last 52 weeks, with virtually no literary, educational, informational, or entertainment value at all… but at least, this year, I’m letting you know in advance.
And, out of my innate sense of fair play and fair warning, I’m providing you with a Table of Contents of sorts, listing what to expect for the rest of the year. Here’s what, with luck, you’ll be missing when you don’t read this column during the coming year:
-- Ground Hog Day. A column in which I explore the possibility that the movie comes true, and the same thing keeps happening over and over… which could actually happen anyway, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness. I’ll probably offer the advice to always wear comfortable clothes on Ground Hog Day, just in case the movie comes true.
-- April Fools Day. No way I’m going to let it pass without at least a “Hey, your shoe’s untied!”, or a “Look, your fly’s open!”, or “Oh, there’s a bug on your shoulder!”, or “Beware, interplanetary life-forms are inhabiting this solar system and consuming our cranial contents.” So be on the look out for a good gag… although I’m very unlikely to top last year’s AFD headline: “Publisher Shealy Makes Best Dressed List”.
-- My wrap-up of this year’s South Carolina Presidential Primaries, with my own personal observations and commentary… although there’s a chance I’ll combine this with my April Fools column.
-- TV Scripts. If the writers stay on strike, I think I’m going to include some sit-com scripts in some of my columns. That way I’m killing two birds with one stone… a column, and a TV show. Unfortunately, most of the shows I like have been off the air for about a decade or two… but maybe they’ll make a comeback. If they’re going to stay on strike, we’ll being Mayberry back.
-- Rod-Boy’s Beginners Guide to the Internet. I’ve been promising this column since last spring, but I haven’t produced it yet. I plan to write this column soon, although it may or may not happen, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness.
-- Rod-Boy’s Insiders Guide to the National Republican Convention. Back in the 1980’s, I twice served as a delegate to the quadrennial Presidential Nominating Convention, and since it looks as if this year’s convention could be a doozy, I’ll probably piece together some old war tales into a column. On the other hand, if it turns out NOT to be a doozy, I’ll probably skip watching it like everybody else, and watch re-runs of Andy instead.
-- Rod-Boy’s Insider Guide to the Olympics. “Insider” may be a stretch, unless they quickly make “belching” an Olympic sport… in which case, I’m bringing home the Gold for my country!!! If not, I’ll probably write about the Olympics anyway, mainly because how often do you get to use the word “quadrennial”?
-- Rob-Boy’s Lead Up to the Olympics. This column will be my opportunity to once again tell my favorite story about the time I water-skiied 162 miles down the river from Columbia to Charleston, along with my brother Shawn and my good friend, Joe Agnew. After all, why isn’t water-skiing in the Olympics? If it were, I’m pretty sure America would pick up a lot of extra Golds, Silvers, and Bronzes, because I can’t see those pesky Scandinavians doing so well if you replace mountains and snow with a motor-boat. Also, what about NASCAR? Where’s the fairness? They let those geek-walkers have their own event… why not NASCAR?
-- Summer Re-Runs. Be on the lookout. I’m pretty sure there will be some summer re-runs this year, because I really do need a vacation.
-- Rob-Boy’s “Guide” to Proofing… and, Punctuation!!! This one’s going to be tough on me… because – as you prolly know – I’m a “Punctuation-Maniac”, and a “Prooffinggg Mad-Man”!!!
That’s it. I’m fresh out of ideas. I’ll be happy to borrow your ideas. Send them to me via electric email: RodShealy@aol.com. Or, for the Internet savvy, just post’em to my internet blog: www.doingthefirst.blogspot.com
Well, I made it a whole, entire year… writing a column every single week -- although, after the first month or so, it became apparent that my vast storehouse was more like a tiny little closet – perhaps even the bottom shelf in the closet… and the “wisdom” was actually more the like the mindless, frequently unintelligible babbling of someone who probably played too much football without a helmet.
Also, I didn’t actually write a totally new column every week. There were a couple of weeks when I dusted off and freshened up articles I had written 10 or 15 years earlier… plus one or two weeks when, 15 minutes before deadline, I basically grabbed anything I could find from the Internet, changed a few words, and called it a column.
But the point is, I succeeded in occupying this space every week for a whole, entire, total, complete, full year, which is quite an accomplishment, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness. Mission accomplished… which is quite an accomplishment, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness. I did it!!! A whole year!!! … which is quite an accomplishment, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness.
So I’ve decided to keep going.
I’m gonna keep writing a column every week… so I’m giving you fair warning.
And this year, there’s a chance I will actually IMPROVE my writing skills and produce articles, which frankly, aren’t such a gigantic waste of your time. (There’s also a chance Florida will fall into the ocean this year.) There’s always a chance, but I wouldn’t bet on it. As a matter of fact, I’m 99% sure it won’t happen. I’m almost positive I’ll keep pumping out the same menu of mostly useless prattle that I’ve been key-punching out for the last 52 weeks, with virtually no literary, educational, informational, or entertainment value at all… but at least, this year, I’m letting you know in advance.
And, out of my innate sense of fair play and fair warning, I’m providing you with a Table of Contents of sorts, listing what to expect for the rest of the year. Here’s what, with luck, you’ll be missing when you don’t read this column during the coming year:
-- Ground Hog Day. A column in which I explore the possibility that the movie comes true, and the same thing keeps happening over and over… which could actually happen anyway, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness. I’ll probably offer the advice to always wear comfortable clothes on Ground Hog Day, just in case the movie comes true.
-- April Fools Day. No way I’m going to let it pass without at least a “Hey, your shoe’s untied!”, or a “Look, your fly’s open!”, or “Oh, there’s a bug on your shoulder!”, or “Beware, interplanetary life-forms are inhabiting this solar system and consuming our cranial contents.” So be on the look out for a good gag… although I’m very unlikely to top last year’s AFD headline: “Publisher Shealy Makes Best Dressed List”.
-- My wrap-up of this year’s South Carolina Presidential Primaries, with my own personal observations and commentary… although there’s a chance I’ll combine this with my April Fools column.
-- TV Scripts. If the writers stay on strike, I think I’m going to include some sit-com scripts in some of my columns. That way I’m killing two birds with one stone… a column, and a TV show. Unfortunately, most of the shows I like have been off the air for about a decade or two… but maybe they’ll make a comeback. If they’re going to stay on strike, we’ll being Mayberry back.
-- Rod-Boy’s Beginners Guide to the Internet. I’ve been promising this column since last spring, but I haven’t produced it yet. I plan to write this column soon, although it may or may not happen, given my tendencies for chronic procrastination and perpetual forgetfulness.
-- Rod-Boy’s Insiders Guide to the National Republican Convention. Back in the 1980’s, I twice served as a delegate to the quadrennial Presidential Nominating Convention, and since it looks as if this year’s convention could be a doozy, I’ll probably piece together some old war tales into a column. On the other hand, if it turns out NOT to be a doozy, I’ll probably skip watching it like everybody else, and watch re-runs of Andy instead.
-- Rod-Boy’s Insider Guide to the Olympics. “Insider” may be a stretch, unless they quickly make “belching” an Olympic sport… in which case, I’m bringing home the Gold for my country!!! If not, I’ll probably write about the Olympics anyway, mainly because how often do you get to use the word “quadrennial”?
-- Rob-Boy’s Lead Up to the Olympics. This column will be my opportunity to once again tell my favorite story about the time I water-skiied 162 miles down the river from Columbia to Charleston, along with my brother Shawn and my good friend, Joe Agnew. After all, why isn’t water-skiing in the Olympics? If it were, I’m pretty sure America would pick up a lot of extra Golds, Silvers, and Bronzes, because I can’t see those pesky Scandinavians doing so well if you replace mountains and snow with a motor-boat. Also, what about NASCAR? Where’s the fairness? They let those geek-walkers have their own event… why not NASCAR?
-- Summer Re-Runs. Be on the lookout. I’m pretty sure there will be some summer re-runs this year, because I really do need a vacation.
-- Rob-Boy’s “Guide” to Proofing… and, Punctuation!!! This one’s going to be tough on me… because – as you prolly know – I’m a “Punctuation-Maniac”, and a “Prooffinggg Mad-Man”!!!
That’s it. I’m fresh out of ideas. I’ll be happy to borrow your ideas. Send them to me via electric email: RodShealy@aol.com. Or, for the Internet savvy, just post’em to my internet blog: www.doingthefirst.blogspot.com
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Rod's Quote of the Day
"After watching Sanford's videos in his State of the State Address, the audience was left longing for the good-ole days of Ross Perot and his charts."
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